How easily 6 months can change your life.

This picture caught my eye the other day & made me smile.  It brought back so many memories of 2013.  Thirteen has always been 'my' number.  I was born on the 13th, met my husband, got engaged & got married all on the 13th.  I was just sure Hazelnut would be born on the 13th- a week early (but she wasn't).

So my entire life I'd been looking forward to the year 2013.  I mean-- a whole year of the number 13?  What could be better?

I'm not sure what I expected to happen, but I am thankful for the year that we had.  Each negative thing had a positive right behind it to overshadow it.  I crave stability in life & this year has been full of stability.

Back to the picture.  It was taken in April at our old apartment.  If you had told me in April (the month taxes were due. mind you) that we'd be in our own house right now I would have laughed.  Even Josh, the big dreamer, probably would have laughed.  Some unexpected taxes had battered our savings & although we knew we could save it again, a down payment & mortgage was just out of the question.

But six months later, we were signing a large stack of paperwork & painting our new house.  Two and a half months later I'm still in shock.  God's blessings have been so great this year, I can't even understand it.  I'm so thankful for it.


The apartment seems like it was years ago.  Our house has only ever know one other owner.  We hear stories about the family that lived there-- all wonderful, heartwarming stories.  They raised their children there, grew old together, and you can feel it as soon as you walk in.

I can't wait to continue that tradition & I'm honored to be a part of it.  Here's to many more fantastic years.

Six months can easily change you life-- for the better or for the worse.  Life is fragile, and I'm thankful mine was for the better & pray that continues.

Debt & Working A Job You Hate.

"Debt will make you get out of bed & go to a job tomorrow that you hate.  And the only reason you go is to pay the bills & it's not because you enjoy what you do."  -Perry Noble

True words.  Within a months of becoming debt free, I started my photography business & Josh was able to quit his job to pursue what he really wanted to do... music.

Before being debt free we were both working in jobs that didn't make hardly any money.  We were working 60+ hours a week and had practically nothing to show for it.  Extra money went straight to debt, which was fine since we didn't have any free time.  We didn't want to admit it to ourselves, but we hated our jobs.  We couldn't quit or even take a day off to interview elsewhere because we had to pay the bills.

But then... divine intervention.  We finished paying off debt.  Soon thereafter, I was let go from my job.  I was really bitter at the time (it was unjust situation), but it was the best thing ever.  I found another job through a temp agency within a week.  I was making double what I made before & working less hours!

When you have more money & no debt, your options really open up.  Even though it was just a temp job, we soon decided Josh was going to put in his 2 weeks notice.    My co-workers thought we were insane because my temp job could end at any moment.  But we didn't have fear... we had a few monthly bills, and we had been able to save enough money so that even if we were both unemployed we could survive for at least a month or two.  And in the worst case scenario, we were sure we could at least find minimum wage jobs which would cover our necessary bills.

Do you have any idea how freeing that is?  That if it all fell apart, you would have two months to find at least a minimum wage job to keep a roof over your head?

But the thing is, it didn't end there.  While Josh was working out his two week notice, he got a call from a church in Virginia.  When he was interviewing with them, I interviewed & was offered a permanent position within the company that I was a temp for, and was offered $10,000 more per year than I was already making (doing the same job).

Pretty awesome.

It doesn't mean life is always easy afterwards, but being debt free does lift a huge burden.  It takes away a lot of fear.

We got out of debt using Dave Ramsey's baby steps & the debt snowball.  All the resources are free, but we found that reading Total Money Makeover was very informative beyond what the website says, and it also had tons of inspirational stories from families who were way worse off than us & managed to get out of debt!

One final note.  If you're thinking that it's impossible to pay off debt & also give a tithe to your church... wrong.  Trust God with the money He's already trusted to you.  It makes things infinitely easier!

Erin's Story: $75 Cloth Diaper Stash!

Erin is one of my good internet friends.  We met through blogging probably 5+ years ago and have kept up with each other ever since!  A few months ago when she asked me what I thought about my cloth diapers.  She's pregnant with her second child and was considering giving it a whirl.  I asked her to share her story with all of y'all, so here you go:

Not too long ago if someone would have asked if I was interested in cloth diapering, I would have laughed and denied any interest, probably with a grossed out expression.  Cloth diapers meant having to dump a bunch of money on disgusting contraptions that will inevitably result in touching poop.  And really, who wants to touch poop?  That only ever happens on accident and it’s the worst.

In the movie “The Wedding Singer,” Adam Sandler’s character said, in reference to his experience with money, “I’m a big fan of money. I like it. I have a little. I keep it in a jar on my refrigerator.  I’d like to put more in that jar.  That’s where you come in.”

I can relate to this. I’m a fan of having money.  I have a little, and I’d like to do what I can to fill my jar (I don’t actually have a jar of money, don’t bother trying to rob me). That’s where cloth diapers come in. 

I’m pregnant now and I have a 19 month old who was, unfortunately, not born a potty-trained prodigy.  As it turns out, this whole diaper thing was for real and I had to buy them.  I tried to calculate out how much we’ve spent on diapers over the past 19 months but quite honestly, I don’t have the patience or brain power to put together all those numbers in a meaningful way.  So, essentially I’m not going to give an estimate of accumulative cost, but I will say that with my girl’s sensitive booty, we’ve had to stick with a more expensive diaper brand. They ended up costing us a quarter each (more or less, depending on size) and unless I’m in a bind, I refuse to buy diapers without a coupon.  As an infant she would, without fail, wait until she had a clean diaper, then fill the darn thing up.  I could almost hear the quarters dropping.  My husband and I eventually counted our visits to the changing table in quarters. Cha-ching!

We recently moved to Alaska.  This place is fabulous in almost every way!  It’s gorgeous, fresh, and is home to many of my favorite people.  Now, before you go packing your bags to come join me in this amazing place, please hear me, it’s also very, very expensive.  We’ve been here for about three months and I still feel physical pain when I get groceries- Or to even look at them; kiwi for $.78, an unimpressive container of mutant strawberries for $6, or grapes for up to $4/lb.  It hurts my heart, and it really hurts the aforementioned hypothetical jar of money. I want to help provide my family with good things, but the fruit my mouth waters for sometimes is put on the wayside because I’m reserving my quarters for those dreaded diapers!

And you know what?  I’m tired of being a sucker! 

Peeking at the other side of sucker-ville, I’m slowly testing the waters outside of my comfortable box.  I have a tendency to be somewhat impulsive.  Mix my impulsivity with a little peer pressure, the desire and calling to be wise financially and top it off with a high five for green living and I’ve got myself a little cloth diaper stash!  I’m part of a childrens buy/sell/trade facebook group in my area and I saw a post for gdiapers that someone was selling.  I’d heard good things about gdiapers, and I hate to miss a sweet deal, so I snagged it!  I figured that while I’m just getting my toes wet, and I’m not diving in head first, used diapers might be worth the investment.  If I hated it, at least I wouldn’t be sunk and financially obligated to stick with it.  Plus, I’d get to put the sanitary cycle on the washing machine to use.

I can’t fully explain why I figured it’d be ok to get used diapers, when I would never consider wearing someone elses’ undies, but ultimately, I feel confident that I bought from someone who wouldn’t be spreading diseases.

1. Her house, despite having three (soon to be four kids), was immaculate.

2. She rearranged the furniture in her living room within a week between my stops there; A kindred spirit.

3. The poor gal was 9 months pregnant and “needed” to clear things out.  De-cluttering brings me joy, and my helping her de-clutter brought us both joy!

Not long later, the “diaper lady” posted that she had some one-size pocket diapers available.  I had already determined that I wanted to try out a variety before sticking to one kind, so I told her I was interested.  She just had her baby and underestimated the number of small diapers she needed so she offered to trade me some of the smalls for some one size pockets. Easy.  I brought her some smalls and she seriously hooked me up. She reassured me several times that I was doing her the favor, but I still feel a little bit guilty, like I ripped her off. 

So here’s what’s up, from stepping a little bit out of my box, I got a sweet stash of cloth diapers/inserts started for $75, helped a fellow mommy do her best for her kids, I get to save some quarters and a teeny part of the world.  Not only that, but my incoming boy will get to have a cute booty, my “jar” will refill and we will eat fruit till we burst.

So far I just look at them.  I’m still a little intimidated by them, but I’m getting closer.  One toe at a time, I’m testing the water. One day soon I’ll take the plunge and risk possibly touching something with poop on it.  

--

You read that right, she bought her entire stash for $75!

The quick & cheap way to start with cloth diapers.

Yes, I'm obsessed, so get over it.  :)

I have been getting a ton of questions about cloth diapers and since I love talking about them, keep them coming!  But I thought I'd share a quick & cheap way to get started.

Buy 24 Kawaii Pure & Natural Cloth Diapers.  They began fitting Hazel around the 8lb mark and she has pretty average to skinny legs.  At full price these diapers are $6.25.  For 24 diapers, that's $150.  Shipping is free at that point.  :)

*Cloth diapers are not prone to leaking.  However, if they are leaking, it's likely because they're too big around the legs.*


You'll also want to get some diaper detergent- I use Rockin' Green.  It comes in different smells and also has special formulas for hard & soft water.  That's about $15 for 90 loads (about 17 cents a load).

One more thing-- you'll need a wetbag to keep the dirty diapers in.  I got 2 large & 1 small from PlanetWise (total cost: $47.50).  Truthfully, one large (for the house) and one small (for the diaper bag) will do (cost: $28.50).  Or you can go cheaper and get them here for $4.59 each-- but they're smaller so I'd suggest getting about 4 (3 for the house and 1 for the diaper bag- total cost $18.36).

So there you have it... getting started with cloth diapering for less than $200.  And realistically, other than buying more detergent, you'll not have to spend anything else (other than water & electricity) until you need to buy more diapers somewhere after the one year mark (since Kawaii Pure & Naturals suggest that they only last up until 15 months).  By that point, you'll know exactly what new diapers you want!

Thrifty Nursery.

We are likely going to be moving into a new apartment before Hazel is born, but I'd already worked on this nursery, so I'm going to share it anyway!  I know I'm a photographer & all, but cell phone pictures are what you're getting.  :)  We got a lot of really great deals on our larger items, so I wanted to share our finds!

We started with this idea:

And here's what we've got so far.  There's a lot less color in it right now because we don't have all the decorations up, but you get the idea.

Crib, mattress, white dresser: $150 from a consignment shop.  We got the info off of the crib & researched it to make sure it had good reviews & wasn't recalled or anything.  We also got a bedding set with it that's adorable, but just didn't fit in our color scheme, so we're selling it for $20.
Mobile: $15 (or was it $10?) at the same consignment shop.  It plays about 10 different songs & spins around.  I love that it has the black & white swirls as well, since that's what they suggest for mobiles.
Rug: $5 at a different consignment shop
Canvas with lyrics: $60 We bought the canvas at Michaels' for $40 (was 60% off) & the paints & paintbrushes (what I didn't already have) was about $20.  We had the idea & painted it ourselves.  It's not quite done yet, but more on that later.

Guitar Lamp: $30 at Burke's Outlet.  You can't see it in the first picture because it's beaming a bright light, but it's on the white dresser.
Music = Love small canvas: $5 at Burke's Outlet

Dry Erase Wall Dots: $5 for a 2 pack  I run a photography business out of my home, and it takes a lot of space to set everything up!  I quarantined most of it to the closet with some careful organization, but I still needed some space for the printer & such, so I used this little corner, which you can't really see from the door.  The two blue wall dots are removable dry-erase wall decals.  I keep a list of to-do's on one, and other notes about clients on the other.  Super helpful!

Large bookcase: This used to be in our living room with China & books on it.  I love the cubby organization systems and almost bought a cubby shelf just for this room.  But space is an issue in this apartment, so I took the bookshelf that was already in the nursery & moved it to the living room, and brought the large one from the living room into the nursery!  There wasn't enough room for all the books, even after giving many to Goodwill, so I double layered them-- there is another complete row of books behind each row you see!  The bottom right hand cubby of books is all our baby/kids books.

Canvas Bins: $9 each  This was not a cheap purchase, but thankfully, I had enough in Wal-Mart gift cards to more than cover the cost!  I can decorate them if I like, and they hide a lot of junk that I know won't always be organized once the baby is here.  They will also make moving much easier, and even collapse down to a flat square if needed.

Yikes... I never said the nursery was finished!  Here is the closet & changing table/baby armoir (which needs to be refinished & get new knobs).  Cloth diapers are in the baby armoir... for now.

Bassinet: Free!  It's our friend's bassinet.  We knew storage was an issue, but also knew a bassinet would be super helpful that first month or so.  So a friend offered to let us borrow theirs they aren't currently using (& they needed the extra space!).  Works perfectly-- we don't have to waste money on buying one that we'll just turn around & sell, and they don't have to look at it for a few months.  :)

And we've come full circle!  Like I said, the decorations are definitely not all up yet (nor will they be until we move).  A friend bought us a wall decal with Hazel's name on it, too, and I can't wait to decide where to put it in our new place!

Turning a $6 pizza into $8,000.

Many people underestimate the little things.  It's evidenced by their spending habits.  I include myself in this.

Last week our pastor talked about money & being on a spending plan.  If you've read this blog for any period of time, you're probably aware that money management & being debt free is a huge part of my life.  Four & a half years ago we decided to get out of debt forever.  It took us 3 years and we absolutely worked our butts off.


But after that?  Truthfully, we took a break.  I'm not proud of it, and it's pretty hard to admit.

No, we didn't go crazy spending.  We still put money in savings, & tried to make smart financial decisions. But we also did fun things, like buy new clothes, go out to eat.  We bought a new mattress, a 40" TV (on a Black Friday sale, but quite the upgrade from our 21" that was given to us!).  But after sitting down & taking a hard look at our finances this week, we realized that we could have saved $8,000 more than we did this past year.

$8,000.

I immediately thought, What could we have done with $8,000?  That's a hard pill to swallow.

Chances are, though, if someone gave you $8,000 you probably know exactly what you'd do with it... or at least have a good idea.  It's easy to see when you have it all in front of you, all at once.

But what about if you have to earn it, little by little?

It's all in making the little decisions.  Saturday, Josh was recovering from food poisoning & I had a coupon for a $6 large pizza from Dominos right next to our house.  Hello, I'm pregnant, & pizza sounded delicious!  Plus, Josh was eating very little, so that pizza could last me for 3 days!  Added benefits-- we'd be rushing out to church on Sunday & I could just heat up some pizza to eat on the way... see how beneficial it would be to spend just $6 on a pizza?  It's quite practical!

But no... it has to start somewhere.  And like Dave Ramsey says with The Great Recovery... it starts with me.

So instead I scrounged around the house, where we have plenty of food.  $6 pizza is no longer just a great convenience, it's now a reward.

I have to change my way of thinking if we ever want to save to our full potential.  Save that $6 pizza for a day when I really need it.  And as time goes on, I'm going to start seeing what I need and what I want a lot more clearly.

Would I have missed $6 in my bank account?  Not at all.  But now, I am satisfied knowing that I'm now $6 richer because of a smart decision.  I just need to make that decision 1,334 more times, which actually feels a lot easier than it sounds because really... I didn't miss out on anything.

My Kids Won't Have a College Fund

This is sort of a continuation from Friday's obnoxiously long post.  Enjoy!

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The other day Josh & I started talking about college funds for our kids.  It's an interesting thing, and truthfully, I hadn't given it much thought before.  I mean, you want your kids to go to college, and you want them to be successful, so the responsible thing to do as a parent is to plan for that and make that happen, right?

I'm not so sure.

Let me start with this disclaimer: I'm not saying one way is right or wrong.  We haven't fully decided what we will do.  And I am not talking about any certain type of account or savings plan.

When I was in kindergarten I knew that I had to make good grades so I could go to college on a scholarship.  And I had to go to college.  As much as I've tried to figure out how I knew that, I just don't know.  But I think my oldest brother was graduating high school around that time, so maybe that led to it?

At any rate, my parents were definitely not the type to push us into going to a particular school or choosing a certain career path.  Unless you consider my dad's construction business which all three of my brothers worked at.  But me?  Let's just say it was clear from an early age that I would not be a good fit for the family business.

So, I worked at school.  I made excellent grades.  I missed exactly 10 days of school from kindergarten to senior year... and 5 of those were in kindergarten because I went to my grandpa's funeral in Florida & then I got chicken pox.   I got to 11th grade & learned that colleges don't look back any further than 11th grade grades.  What a bummer!  But I knew I was fine... with my weighted grade point average, I'd be well above a 4.0.  And sure enough, I graduated in the top 5% of my class.

Admittedly, I was a scaredy cat when I came to moving away, so I went to the closest university, which happened to be a state school.  Compared to the other schools, it was pretty inexpensive.  I got several merit based scholarships which covered everything but my room & board.

Who picked up the rest of the tab?  My parents.  I can't explain how mega-cool that was!  I didn't really fully understand or appreciate it at that point in time, but that saved me from having loans to pay back after I graduated.  Loans I would have blindly walked into without a second thought.

My parents didn't have an official "well pay for this much of college" stance.  It was an unspoken thing that I was expected to do my very best.  I didn't know that once I did my best, they'd cover the rest, but it was wonderful that they were careful enough with their finances to do so.

So do I plan to have a dedicated college fund for our little kiddo?  I don't actually.  I'm not against saving to help them out in life.  But it could be for college, or for their first house, or for when they call me to bail them out of jail.

I really hope it's not the last one, though.

The point is, I want our kid(s) to work hard.  To expect great things of themselves.  Whether that's going to Harvard, a state school, community college, or not going to college at all.  Admittedly, it would be hard to watch the last one in this day & age, but I know a few people who are wildly driven & are successful in life without a college degree.

I don't want to pay for their college... I want them to work hard & earn it themselves.  And because I'm not sure if it's even possible to get the entire amount of college paid (books, at least, usually aren't covered), we hope to be there to pick up the tab & congratulate them on their hard work.

I'm still working on the plan of what to do if we have a kid who plans to party in college.  :/  I'll let you know when I figure the whole world out perfectly!  lol  *sarcasm, people, calm down*

Your thoughts?

Entitlement, Hard Work, and AFAB

Admittedly, I haven't kept up with the whole Wall Street protest thing.  As I researched to find out what it was all about, it seems to me that the actual movement may have something to it, but 99% of the people involved probably aren't smart enough to understand the intricacies of it.  I know I'm not.

So this post isn't really about the whole Occupy Wall Street thing because I can't really make an informed statement about it.

This post is more about entitlement.  My generation is often called 'the generation of entitlement' and that is not in a good context.  I admit, I have a sense of entitlement that I have to keep in check.  I feel that I've worked hard, made good grades, done the right things, made wise choices, and therefore I should be able to afford to buy a house instead of live in this tiny apartment.  I mean, I have a lot of friends that didn't work as hard or make as good of grades.  They partied through college & they already have houses...

But the thing is, we can't afford a house right now.  We're saving up, and although we feel like we should be at a point where we can buy a house, we just aren't yet.  The end.

Whose fault is it?  Well, it's not anyone's fault... it's just a fact.  It's not the government's fault, and it's not the bank's fault.  It's just not in the cards yet.  Big whoop.  I still have a roof over my head & money to pay the rent every month, so life really isn't all that bad!  Yes, I want better than what I have right now, but I'm very grateful for what I have.

I've seen this flying around Facebook & it really struck me:

I could have written this myself.  Other than a few minor details, this is my story.  I still can't figure it out, but somehow I knew from kindergarten that I needed to make good grades to get a scholarship to go to college.  There were 5 kids in my family & I was expected to go to college ('cause Lord knows I wasn't going to cut it in the family construction business!).  In order to go to college, I had to get scholarships.  I was terrible at sports, so everything was riding on my good grades.  Luckily, I was good in school, formed good study habits, and graduated in the top 5% of my senior class.

All but my room & board were covered in scholarships at the modest state school I went to.  It was a university & provided a fine (although quite liberal) education.  My parents were able to (& gladly) covered my room & board.  I maintained a 3.8 throughout college & graduated a semester early.  I also got married after my sophomore year, so my parents no longer paid room & board because Josh & I were paying rent instead.

By the time I graduated I was making much better than minimum wage.  I started at a counseling center filing paperwork & worked my way up until they trained me to actually work with clients to reach their therapy goals.  We did have debt, so Josh & I both took to working nights at Domino's delivering pizzas.

Then?  Then God called us to move to Atlanta & we both pretty much started over job-wise.  And did you know that between delivering pizza's & working as a nanny for 20 hours a week, you can live in Alpharetta, GA?  You can.  We barely made ends meet, but we made it happen.

My point is, there's no replacement for hard work.  You can be given all the money in the world, but unless you're responsible, it won't last for long.

Did we 'make it' on our own?  Absolutely not.  As my dad always says, "No one makes it in this world on their own."  Remember how my parents covered my room & board those first two years?  And that job at the counseling center?  My boss hired me & put a lot of faith into me.  And when we moved to Atlanta, the church we were leaving totally rallied around us & many members gave us money & gift cards out of the goodness of their hearts.

And that's not even giving any credit to God, which really... He gets all the credit for anything we're able to accomplish.

So yes, no one makes it on their own, but at the same time, you can't expect things to be handed to you.  Nothing replaces hard work.

Life after debt.

I talk a lot about money management, getting out of debt, and all that fun stuff, but let's talk about what happens after getting out of debt.  Life was still life and our car still broke down, but  honestly, possibilities started to seem endless.

Suddenly, our bills were very streamlined & we quickly realized that we could now stop doing what we had to do and focus a little bit more on what we wanted to do.  That led to Josh quitting his job to pursue music full time.  This was a desire for both of us & a dream for him.  And we were able to do it.  Comfortably.

We weren't living paycheck to paycheck.  We were living well below our means, even on one paycheck (we put all his earnings into savings)!  And we even went out to eat sometimes.  :)

It wasn't long into this journey when he got a call from a church in Virginia.  Being out of debt allowed us to look at the opportunity & how we really felt about it, without putting a major focus on the money.

What would you be able to do if you didn't have to pay extra bills every month?  With an extra $50, or $500?

It starts with me. It starts with you.

In blog related emails, the number one thing people want to talk about is money.  How did we get out of debt?  What did we do?

Most everyone I know desires to be out of debt.  They know it's a positive way to live & really want that.  However, it's also a fight against society.  The world around us is constantly showing us their shiny new cars, their beautiful house, their weekend dinners at a nice steakhouse.  And it doesn't have to be all fancy stuff.  Money is most easily lost in the little things... new DVDs, clothes, fast food... very normal things to buy.  Heck-- you need clothes to wear on your body!

However, each day honestly gets scarier.  I have to admit I don't watch the news that much, but the pieces I've caught here & there are pretty scary.  If you want a visualization of how our country is spending money, just check this out.  It's scary.  Did I mention scary?

The emails I get? I take time to answer each & every one of them.  It's important to me because I know how much I benefited from others answering my questions-- from people encouraging me when being debt free really just felt impossible.  And when making big decisions, Josh and I still go to those people.

And it also starts with you!  You can be debt free & change your lifestyle as well.  It's not crazy talk & it's definitely not a quick fix.  And there's a website just for you.

If the country is going to change, the people have to change.  So let's start now!

I have to admit I've been really, really slack on posting about money these past few months.  And when I did a poll awhile back?  Nearly everyone said they wanted to hear more about money.  So I'm going to start that back up.  :)  Because I love y'all!

Another day, another bill.

Last week I took my car in to get the tires rotated, aligned, and balanced.  We have a deal worked out where we get 3 years of that for "free" (aka: we paid it ahead of time and got a great discount).  So I walk oh-so-bravely into the car repair place without a debit card, and only $50 in my pocket.  It's free, right?

Wrong.  Dead wrong.  Sure, that part was free all day long... but we needed a new belt, and a couple of other things that were dangerously close to wearing out.  Hoping we had just found a crooked mechanic, I called Josh but he agreed that those certain things were probably in need of replacing.  The estimate came to $477.25.

Which is ironically probably the exact worth of my car!  :)  I say that kidding, but that may actually be true.  I could never sell it and get it's true worth out of it-- no one would believe what a great car it is!  Pretty much all the maintenance we do is just stuff that has naturally worn out from driving 300,000 miles.  My clutch, for example, was supposed to last 120,000 miles, but it definitely took us past the 200,000 mark.  The mechanic was flabbergasted that it was the original clutch.

But my point isn't how much car repair is... when I was at the service station, I didn't freak out about the initial price of the bill (other stuff happened that jeopardized the whole car-- I still freaked about that!)  My stomach sank a little bit, but it wasn't the end of the world.

4 years ago, it would have been life altering to pay $477.25 in car repair.  But now?  In the past week Josh and I have cash flowed $1200 in out of the ordinary expenses-- and that's not including the money I spent on gas & food on the trip I just took to NC.

Sure, we budget for car repair, but when it comes down to it, we have to get it repaired immediately, regardless of the budget, because it's our only car.

And no, we don't enjoy spending money like it's going out of style.  You'll find us cutting back in our daily expenses in order to make up for those extra costs (thank goodness we had some gift cards & movie tickets saved up!).  But I'm a very anxious person & I get emotional very easily.  And being debt free has taken a lot of that anxiety away from me.

I guess when it comes down to it, I'm so thankful for God, Josh, & Dave Ramsey.  Without any one of those three, our finances wouldn't be where they are today, and we'd probably be holding a cardboard sign by the road, or living in my parent's basement (if my parents had a basement...).

What does/will being debt free mean to you?  Does it mean you don't freak out about every little thing?  That you're finally able to put money into that hobby that you love?  That you're able to get up every morning knowing that if you lost your job right now, your family would be okay for 3 months?  I'd love to know what everyone else thinks about with their money!

Badge of Honor.

There are a lot of things that describe me.  It's not hard to know things about me... I love pictures, I put them all over my facebook, and they tell a story of my life.

But there's one thing I don't take many pictures of.  My car.

Why?  Because it is a real piece.

But that's what's so cool about it.  My dad bought it for me when I was 16.  Back then it had 73,000 miles on it.  Now it's heading past 296,000 miles.

When it hit 100,000, I started looking for a different car for "when this one broke down."

Nearly 200,000 miles later we're still doing the same thing.  It makes me laugh, it makes me smile.  Our car is so junky... c'mon it has almost 300k miles on it!  How is it supposed to look?  But it has gotten us so many places.  It's been to Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee, North Carolina, and Virginia.

A lot of people think their car reflects them.  I completely agree.  While most are thinking, "I have a nice car that I take care of, and that reflects that I'm a nice, well-to-do person who takes care of myself and other people."  Agreed, but that's not quite what my car says.

Mine shows how hard we've worked to get where we are.  How we've put off purchases that we really wanted, in order to live debt free.

Would I like a nice new shiny cool car?  Absolutely!  But that's still years away.  In the meantime, we're saving up for another car.  A second car-- so we don't have to share anymore!  And after that?  We'll save some more.  And when the day finally comes that our car won't go anymore, we'll have the funds to cover for another one.

**And I'd like to give a shout out to Nissan-- the car I'm talking about is a 1997 Nissan Sentra!**

Valentine's Day is coming up!

Quick Note: Remember to enter in the giveaway if you haven't already!


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This is a money-related post.  I'll get that out of the way real quick.  :)

Valentine's Day can be right up there with Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries when it comes to couples spending money.

For us, Josh loves to shower me with gifts.  For my 18th birthday he bought me an entire outfit from The Buckle and FedEx'd it down to Florida since I was spending my birthday down there.  We'd barely been dating a month!

My point is, things like that can get expensive.  Now if you budget for them, it's all cool, but if you're trying to get out of debt, you may want to rethink a few things.

Here are a few ideas on how to keep things awesome, yet on the more inexpensive side.

*Plan out a scavenger hunt around town.  Once he/she gets to one spot, you spend some time there and then they get the next clue.  Stops can include romantic benches in the park, an ice cream sundae, or even 99-cent taquitos from QT! (QT is an awesome gas station that Josh and I have actually hit up during one of these scavenger-type dates - it's like the Wawa in Virginia)

*Cook at home!  Whether it's Wal-Mart pizza or a fancy dinner, make sure to set the table, turn off the cell phone, TV, laptop, etc and pay attention to each other.  Maybe even try a new recipe together!  Although if you do, make sure to have a quick & easy backup just in case.  :)  Not that I would know from experience or anything...

*Find out what is free in your town.  You'd be surprised how much a Google search can come up with when you start looking for new adventures!  From museums to walking trails, there is a lot out there- in every price range.

*Check out menu's online.  If you're dead-set on going to a restaurant, and enjoy ordering whatever you like, set yourself up for success ahead of time.  Check out the menu before going to a new place.  Most nice restaurants have a menu online.  I did this for Christmas 2009- found a really elegant restaurant that had lower pricing, took him there and was able to say, "get whatever you want- don't worry about the price!"  To him, it was a dream come true because that's what he wants to do at a restaurant- get whatever he wants!  After tip, out bill was maybe $45 - success!

So those are just a few ideas - feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section!  Above all, though, married couples please, please talk about it ahead of time.  Even if you want it to be a surprise, talk about the budget ahead of time.

And as Dave says, "Live like no one else so that later, you can live like no one else!"

**Update: Here's a comment left this morning by Rob, and I love it!  
"Monica and I set a budget, but one thing that also helps is we take turns with V-Day. This year it's Mon's turn to plan. Next year it will be my year. We spend less because we both don't have to spend money."

The B Word

Budget is not a nasty word, I promise.  Budget means something different to everyone.  And if you're married, budget better mean the same thing to the both of you.  Other than that, it's pretty simple.

Budget = diet.  Most people equate budget with spending less, and diet with eating less.  Negative thoughts usually come to mind.

Diet, however, just means 'food or drink regularly provided or consumed.'  So you can have a healthy diet or an unhealthy diet.

Budget is the same, 'an itemized allotment of funds, time, etc., for a given period.' It's estimating how you'll spend your money.  You can overspend or underspend.  That's just a matter of balancing your budget.

So if you're like most people and the idea of a budget is pretty much this black hole, and you feel that it's pointless because it won't really change anything, here's something (hopefully) different for you to try:

Start by guessing how much you actually spend in a week, 2 weeks, or month (whichever is easiest, given your pay periods).  If you have access to online banking, this makes it very easy.

Once you have a rough draft of that (and let me stress rough draft-- because it's not going to even be close to perfect!), add it up and see where you're at.

Does it look like you should have tons of money but you actually don't?  Then there's somewhere you're spending money that you forgot to write down.  Spend the next week or so figuring out what that is.  Then decide if you want to keep spending that or if you want to cut back and save money.

You may also see, as Josh and I saw at one point, that we simply weren't making enough money.

 If that's you, then pat yourself on the back for making ends meet so far!  Then figure out an honest way to make more money.

Good luck!

Our goals for 2011.

I warned told you I'd get back to you about our family goals for this new year.  Josh and I are absolutely ecstatic about them, mainly because we didn't think we'd be this far along right now!  But we set high goals, and we hit them (thanks to God)... and it feels good!

Financially speaking, we have three goals for this year:

Three months of living expenses

In case anyone hasn't noticed, the economy has a way of going up and down.  Having a three month cushion allows us the financial security that even if things go south quickly, we will have three months to figure something else out.  If you think about it, 3 months is a lot longer than you think... 3 months ago, Josh started talking to this church way up in Virginia... and now we've lived here for a month already.

Vacation

In May, we'll celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary.  We are so thankful for these past 5 years and have really enjoyed them.  However, we've always been very focused on our finances, and the last vacation we went on (just the two of us) was our honeymoon.  So we've decided that we're going on a fun vacation. Originally we said Disney Land World (I always get them confused), but now we're thinking New York City.  Wherever we go, we want to be able to go out to eat and not order the cheapest thing on the menu, so we'll be saving for a nicer vacay.  If anyone has a vacation home, we're definitely open to that as well!!

A second car

Truthfully, we have 2 cars.  But one is a bit of a collectible that we're selling (1974 VW Beetle, in case you're interested and living in the Hampton Roads area!).  Our main car has 290,000 miles on it.  It runs well, and we love it to death (gas mileage, anyone?).  Now that we're getting some savings under our belts, we're looking to getting a second car.

Now, we probably won't get the Nissan Cube, but something about me wants it... I think it's because I like things symmetrical, and because it's not symmetrical, I would feel like a rebel driving it.

Petty, dumb, I know... 

So those are our financial goals for this year... what are your goals, whether it be financial or otherwise?

A look back at 2010.

Yup... you read the title... I'm doing a look back at 2010.  I went through and chose one (yes, only one!) picture from each month and even linked back to a few of the posts... enjoy!

January.

We rung in the new year with one of our dearest friends, Rebecca.  She's such a strong woman and we had a blast!  To my recollection, I fell asleep before midnight.  :(

February.

February 14th was the launch of Relate Church, which Josh and I were helping out with during their beginning stages. (excuse the crazy editing...)

March.

Rylie joined our family in March!  My brother & his wife have been married 13 years, so it was about time!

April.

In April some of our friends from Atlanta came to visit!  So much fun, and we had lunch at our favorite place in Greenville-- The Lazy Goat.

May.

2010 had many great moments... many.  But being on the Dave Ramsey TV show was definitely one of the biggest highlights! (You can view our portion here) We had been following his principles to get out of debt for 3 years and were finally able to scream We're debt free!! in front of all his viewers.  It felt great to finally be out of debt for good!

June.

You can read this story here, here, and here.  I never intended it to be a series, but it ended up going on for quite awhile. Worst part? Josh was out of town and I didn't have a car to take Max to the vet... so I had to bum rides! I was very thankful for some great friends.

July.

One Friday night Josh & I were looking forward to relaxing as Saturday would start a busy weekend.  Then my dad called and asked if we wanted to come to the Swannanoa Gathering (Part 1 & Part 2). We went, and I'm so thankful. Not only was it a blast, but now that we've moved, we won't be able to do things like that anymore. Carpe diem, eh?

August.

With August came a new job, which was exactly what I needed.  My sister also let me borrow her car for a few months, which was a major blessing!  It did have a few troubles, though... like the door handles fell off!  Thankfully, my dad was able to fix it (Josh was out of town).  But when we pulled the door apart we saw that my brother had clearly done the same thing in the past.

September.

The beginning of September brought a lot of overtime for me, which meant a lot of extra money going to savings.  The last part of September brought a lot of family time... which was fabulous!  This picture was at my parents house when they had to take everything out of their cabinets to run a water line to their new fridge... talk about a mess!  The stuff from the fridge was all in the sink and everything from the cabinets was, well, everywhere else!

October.

What a month of anticipation! Josh resigned from his day job to do music, and was almost immediately contacted by a church in Virginia. I interviewed, and was offered a permanent position at the company where I was a temp. We spent as much time enjoying life as possible, including going to my old high school football rivalry game, and enjoying fabulously free dates in downtown Greenville.

November.

All the anticipation of October came to life in November.  I had to turn down the job offer (which was a dream job) because... Josh was offered the position in Virginia!  I have to admit, it stung a little to turn it down, but we both knew that Virginia was where we needed to be. So we packed up and moved right after Thanksgiving.

December.

At the beginning of the year we were still settling into our apartment in Greenville.  And by December, we were settling in a new apartment 8 hours away.  Funny where life takes you sometimes, but we know that it's where we're supposed to be, and... for the first time... a place where we'll be settled.

Chances are, most of you starting reading this blog within the past year, since that's when I started writing exclusively on here (rather than on a private blog), started working with BlogHerwww.blogher.com, and became syndicated through BlogHer.  I sincerely appreciate your readership and hope you'll stay with me for another year on here!

New Year Resolutions.

Pssstt.... did anyone else notice that we don't have to wait until November to get a cool date like 11-11-11?  Today is 1-1-11!


Now back to the actual blog post...

Well folks, it's the new year... and I bet you have something in mind that you want to accomplish this year-- maybe a new year resolution?  And chances are, it either has to do with weight or finances.

In my mind, they require the exact same discipline.

I see so many people spend everything they have on Christmas presents and then dread January.

Really?


Is it worth it?  Is that temporary moment of joy worth the dread and fear and lack of money afterwards?  Do people really take out loans for Christmas presents?  Doesn't that completely destroy the joy of the season?

It did for me.  Freshman year in college I bought Christmas presents on a credit card.  I was 'good' and didn't spend much, but I was sweating bullets come January.  I paid it off immediately and that was the end of it, but I'll never forget that feeling of dread.

Josh & I did a similar thing our first year of marriage.  We bought a Christmas tree, ornaments, and presents.  Although we watched our spending and kept it to a minimum, we still spent more than we could afford.  By mid-December we didn't have money for bills.

It was a big learning experience.  One that Josh & I will never forget.

Moral of the story?  It doesn't help to just spend as little as possible.  What helps is to have a budget and know where your money is going.  Having a budget doesn't mean not ever spending money on fun things.  It just means that you know where every penny is going.

Since I started sharing about our journey to becoming debt free, a lot of you have let me know that you are working towards the exact same thing.  So whether you're sitting there vowing that 2011 will be the year you turn it around, or if you just need some extra juice in your system to keep up a budget, here are some links that I find super helpful:

An overview about debt & such.

The seven baby steps.  (We're currently on #3!)

A helpful little calculator to show you where you're at.

Look around the site-- you can learn so much for free!  And then if you have an extra $10 (or go to the library and borrow it for free), I definitely recommend "Total Money Makeover."  It is so encouraging.  It sounds bad, but when I read about families with 5 kids and one income who were $100,000 in debt and paid it off, I really felt like we could probably dig out of our hole, too.

And later on this week I'll share our family goals for this year!

Best wishes for the new year.

Giving Thanks.

In case you just woke up from a 3 year slumber and aren't aware, today is Thanksgiving.

A lot of people on Facebook chose to write one thing they are thankful for each day as their status.  I never got around to it, but there are so many things I'm thankful for.

Jesus.  My husband.  My family.  My sweet doggies and kitty cat.  Money. Health. Friends.

Yeah... I said money.  It doesn't bring happiness, but the lack of it sure does bring misery. Copyright Josh Fowler 2009.


God has provided so much this past year.  We've paid off our debts, lost loved ones, seen new life born, and are about to start a brand new chapter in our lives.

We've been very blessed.

How have you been blessed this year?  What are you thankful for?

Have a great day no matter how you spend it!

Getting out of Debt: The Aftermath.

A while back, one of my posts was featured on BlogHer network.  It was pretty sweet and I felt like a rockstar when my name and story flashed up on the main page of their website!

You can read the post here.

One of the commenters then used me in another blog, here.  And again, that rockstar feeling came around.

I don't have much excitement like that, so I get pretty pumped about it!

One commenter asked what we did after we got out of debt.

Oh... I guess there is life after debt after all!


We paid off the last of it right around our 4th wedding anniversary, so instead of going on a picnic or something else inexpensive like we had done for the previous two, we went out to eat!  The tab? $80.  When we saw the bill we laughed. We planned on spending that much, but when we actually saw it, we thought of what all we could do with $80, and decided that it was our last expensive meal out for awhile.

Since then we've been saving for a newer car.  We currently share a 1997 Nissan Sentra with 285k miles on it.  Once we have the cash to buy another car, we'll start saving for 3 months worth of living expenses.  Then to buy another car (because the Sentra won't last forever!), and then to go to Disney World.

Sounds so simple, but I can't even imagine how awesome Disney World will feel with two cars and money in the bank!

What did you do when you got out of debt?  Or... what will you do when you get out of debt?  OR...... what are you able to do because you never went down that road in the first place?

Letter to me.

Lately, there's been a trend on twitter* that you tweet something to your 16 year old self.


*According to Josh Fowler

Now, there's no way I could keep that to 140 characters for a twitter post, much less leave room for a tag.

16 year old self, I'd like to let you know a few things:

• High school isn't everything.
• You're beautiful.
• Take care of that car-- it's going to last you a long time.
• Save 50% of everything you're earning.
• Don't worry so much.  You're going to graduate near the top of your class- you're going to graduate college the same.  And you're going to find a fabulous Christian husband in the meantime.

I'm surprised with how little I would tell myself.  What would you say to your 16 year old self?