Someone's Pastor's Wife.

I've loved Anita Renfroe since the first time I saw her at a Women of Faith conference.  I think it was about 10 years ago?  She's hilarious.  If you don't know her, here's one of her more famous songs:




She's a comedienne & singer.  Funny stuff, and all clean.  She's also responsible for the All the Wrinkled Ladies parody of All the Single Ladies and tons of other funny parodies!

When I saw her in person one thing she said stuck with me more than anything else.  She was talking about her husband & how he used to be a pastor.  After her comedienne gig picked up, he resigned to become her road manager.  She said, "I was someone's pastor's wife."

This woman who had joked about tampons & boobs and made us laugh until we nearly peed our pants was someone's pastor's wife.  It was a game changer for me.  It took pastor's wives out of the well-put-together-soft-spoken-perfectly-coiffed-hair mold that I had put them in.

Which was good, because that's exactly what I ended up being.  Seven years ago I watched as several men of God prayed over my husband & he was ordained as a minister.  I was 20 years old, ya'll.  A kid.  And suddenly I was a pastor's wife.

I knew I wasn't cut out to be the well-put-together pastor's wife of my past.  And Anita Renfroe taught me that I didn't have to.  I could just be me, and that was good enough.

Over the years I think that has shocked some people, but I'm so thankful that I've never had to be something I am not.  I wear my jeans to church, my kid only wears dresses when someone else buys them for her, and I'm not that great of a cook.  Heck, I'm not even that great of a friend, but I'm learning.  But Jesus still loves me & still uses us for His ministry.  Even when we screw up.

So here's to all the pastor's wives that have broken the mold for the rest of us, allowing us to be who we really are.  Thank you.

This is what I live with...

My two favorite people doing their silliness.  I love them.  :)

Pregnancy Confession

I carry a bottle of Maalox in my purse.  When I get heartburn, I shake it up & take a swig.  I must look ridiculous, but hey, I'm pregnant... it's one of the few times in life you can do pretty much anything & people won't question it.

I prefer the mint flavor.  It's instant relief.

32 weeks: My daughter is just like me.

Yesterday marked 32 weeks.  Out of 40ish.  Yowza... where did the time go?

I keep waiting for one of those magical moments where my husband talks to my belly & Hazel suddenly starts moving all around.

She doesn't do that.

Or for the day when I learn her schedule & can tell you when she's most active & when she likes to take naps.

It's not working like that, either.

Playing music?  Does my baby love some country music?  Does she leap around in my tummy when she hears her daddy sing on stage every Sunday?

Seems to be more coincidental if she moves... 


But there is one thing that you can absolutely 100% count on.  Put your hand on my stomach & she will not move.  You can keep your hand there for 5 minutes & she'll take a nap.  Move your hand away & she'll do the tango.

It took me awhile to figure it out.  At first I thought it was because she's more active when I'm still, & especially when I'm scrunched up.  So on Thanksgiving, I sat still & scrunched my body up-- usually she starts moving like crazy.  She started kicking a little, so I let a friend touch my belly (she'd been wanting to feel her kick).  Nothing.  I nudged around my belly trying to get her to react or something.  Nada.

Then I started thinking back... she always does that.  Half of the time she does it to Josh, too, but I think she's getting used to him.

She's my little touch-me-not.  That's what my mom always called me.  I'm not a hugger, I wasn't the kid that crawled up in her lap or anything like that.  I'm not even a big fan of high fives.

I just hope she doesn't cry when other people hold her... that could be exhausting.

Priceless.

Yesterday I decided to put on a little Pandora while getting ready for the day.  Looks like the last time I listened to it was Halloween so I went to look for a different channel.  This is what Pandora suggested:

Hmmm... we'll mark that under "things you never think you'd see."

At least I've got some variety?  Flo Rida confuses me, though... don't know any of his (his?) songs!

What would Pandora throw out for your musical taste?

Missing Dog? Not quite.

Sometimes I question our ability to raise a child.

Last night I locked my dog in the bathroom, then wandered the neighborhood in the dark looking for him because I thought he was lost.  We'd left the door open for a few minutes to air out the apartment & then couldn't find him.  I notified all my neighbors & the apartment complex & even went so far as to put a Missing Dog post on Facebook before I found him.

I'm still not sure how long he was in the bathroom for... maybe an hour?  He never barked or whined... even when I was calling his name.

Then Josh & I were both doing work on our laptops for about an hour.  When I finally looked up, the house looked kind of smoky.  Sure enough... there was a candle on the bar in our kitchen & it was burning the piece of wall overhang that was about 18 inches above it!  It wasn't an actual fire, just a smoke stain on my white wall...  I think the magic eraser will take care of it.

But really?  We're both functioning adults... yet we can't manage simple tasks...  a baby may just do us in!

I have the memory of a gnat.

At Panera the yesterday, one lady went around letting people know that someone left their keys and cell phone in the restroom.  My first thought?  "Whew, glad I didn't use the restroom, or that definitely would've been me!"

Then I realized that I couldn't find my keys or cell phone.

So to recap, not only did I forget my keys & cell phone in the restroom, but I'd forgotten altogether that I even WENT to the restroom!

This has pretty much been the theme of my life lately.  I can't remember anything.  And I didn't really have a good memory to start with!

And I can't even begin to tell you how many times I looked at the clock in my car yesterday (which hadn't been switched yet from the time change) & thought I was running an hour behind.  Serious freak-out time!  Like one of those bad dreams where even though you know you have a mid-term at 1:00pm & you can't make it up, you still manage to be an hour late & miss it, therefore failing the class.

Did I mention I dream about school a lot?  I graduated college four years ago.  Four years since I've sat in a classroom & taken a test.  And now I dream about it roughly 5 times a week.

Whew... concentrate, Susan, concentrate.

Yes, I have the memory of a gnat.

I dream like a psychopath.

I've always had crazy & wildly vivid dreams.  Pregnancy has slightly stepped up their game, but overall, they were pretty psychotic to begin with.

Usually it involves ridiculous, unimaginable things being commonplace.  Like when one of my college classes was on the 42nd floor of a building that I had to use a glass elevator (on the outside of the building) to get to.  And then there were no floors below it-- it was just a classroom up in the air at the top of the elevator shaft.  I could take the stairs, but let's face it, 42 floors is a lot.  So I sucked it up, and on the first day of class, I stepped out during a 5 minute pop quiz to talk my friends into not dropping the class.  It didn't work, and I failed my pop quiz because I ran out of time.

Or the night before that when I was in the [happy] graveyard where my headstone was.  It said, "Susan K_______" and had an H below it.  The K was actually a Russian last name I can't remember.  The 'H' below it was so that people who saw the gravestone knew I spoke English & wasn't Russian.  My dad was there, combing his hair, and my pastor walked up and told him, "You know, you're a lucky son of a gun."  There was also a small ditch between my dad & pastor that, for some reason, really sticks out in my mind even though any of us could have easily walked over it.

So yes, my dreams are a little odd.

Oh, and then there was the one (well before I was pregnant) where I kept having to clean up the mess after Josh was stabbing people to death.  He'd started to do it in public & I had to finally sit down with him and have a tough conversation about how it was getting harder & harder to cover them up now that he kills them in broad daylight, and maybe we should reevaluate some decisions.  He agreed, and then he walked across a bridge over a small pond, and accidentally dropped the entire contents of his briefcase in the hole in the bridge.  There were electronics, so I was furiously trying to clean it up & dry everything out.

Do you remember your dreams?  Are they vivid?  Are they crazy, or are they just normal everyday life?  Do you have recurring patterns or dreams?

Me? Absent? What?!

So yes, I admit, I was quite absent from this little blog last week.  After a year an a half of 5+ posts a week, I totally slacked off.  I can explain:

2 weeks ago I was on vacation.  Like a good little blogger, I had posts prepped & ready to go!

Then I got back from vacation & totally lost my mind catching up on all the work I had to do.

Oh, and that sweet little baby growing inside my tummy?  She has totally sucked me dry from what was left of my brain.  It's really a miracle I can type right now.

Truthfully, this week isn't any better.  I just sat down and wrote out my 'To Do' list for this week, broken into 3 columns: Business #1; Business #2; Personal.  Personal is by far the shortest one...  and each item in each column is a task that will take 15 minutes minimum.

What I'm trying to say is, I have a crazy week coming up!

But you know what?  I thrive off of crazy weeks.

This past weekend I did 5 photography sessions, 1 wedding, a proofing session, and a wedding consultation.

But I'm loving it.  Every single minute!  Work is busy busy busy, and personal is pretty much a whirlwind.  But I feel productive... a little bit like my old life before I moved to Virginia.  Apparently I need to work 50+ hours a week in order to feel productive.  And growing a baby doesn't count.

Okay, I'm done rambling... see you a lot more this week!

How to put 300,000 miles on a car.

Last year I made a bucket list.  I've learned though, that there are some things that you don't even realize are on your bucket list, until you've done them.  Like, driving through a bridge-tunnel.  For some, that's no big deal.  For me, that's a huge, scary deal!  But I did it!  And now I can't even count how many times I've done it... even beside a tractor trailer!

Yesterday marked another milestone that I didn't really want to admit how bad I wanted to reach it.  It's one of those that is somewhat in my control, but also somewhat out of my control.

My car hit 300,000 miles.  

No, really.

How do you do that?

1) Buy either a Nissan, Toyota, or Honda (this happens to be a 1997 Nissan Sentra).
2) Give it to a teenager who dates a guy in the next town.
3) Now have that teenager go to college 30 minutes in the opposite direction from said guy, making the trip twice as long.
4) Have that same teenager move back to her hometown, but still go to college 30 minutes away.
5) Have the now 20-something move to Atlanta & get a job in sales where she drives her car all day long.
6) Then have the husband wreck his car, sell it, and make the Nissan their 'family car.'
7) Give husband the same job.

So yes, I've had the car since I was 16.  My dad bought it for me in the fall of 2002 & it has 73,000 miles on it.  It's a straight drive, and it has only been in one wreck.  It was pouring rain, and despite going about 25mph, I still hydroplaned into a ditch.  A few years later my dad backed his truck into the side of it as well.

We've replace the basics on it, and bigger things as it hit 150K & 250K miles, but overall, we haven't replaced anything unexpected.  Biggest repair was $1200 for the clutch.  Ouch... but really... it was around 200K miles at that point, and it should have only lasted 120K.

Why do we still have the car?  Well, why not?  Honestly, if we had anything else, it'd be beyond our means.  We saved up and came across a great fabulous deal for our 2nd car.  And now we're saving for a car to replace this one when it breaks down beyond reasonable repair.  Honestly, I feel like that may be right around the corner... but I've said that before... many times... a couple hundred thousand miles ago!

The Craziest Frickin' Day of your Life!

Back in... February? January Josh sent me an email that he was running this race called the Warrior Dash in October.  Mmmmkay... I looked it up online and wow-- it was certainly crazy looking, but it was also only 3 miles, so my logic said, in the next 9 months, I can manage to get fit enough to run 3 miles & hit a couple of obstacles.  Worst case scenario, you can walk around (most of) the obstacles.

So I signed up, too.

Then a couple of months later we decided, what the hay, let's have kids!

So that kind of disqualified me from the race (although they don't ban pregnant women, just have you sign something saying you did, or should have, gotten clearance from your doctor beforehand).

In the end, quite a few people from Josh's office signed up for the race.  Here's the before picture:



We even came prepared with our own church tattoos!

What?  Your church doesn't have temporary tattoos of it's logo?  And if you did, you wouldn't put them randomly on your legs?  And you also wouldn't be running in this crazy race?  Well don't look at me, I didn't run, and I didn't put on a tattoo... lol.

And here's the after picture.  Don't worry, the people that are missing weren't actually missing- they were just washing all that mud off of them!

But for real, it was quite the fun race.  Heck, I had fun just watching them!  It turned out to be a 3.5 mile race with 12 obstacles... and a lot of interesting characters!

I was excited to see my husband be the first from the group to hit the finish line!  Okay, so maybe he left the rest of the pack behind because they were running together-- he still made great time!  Below, he's at the top of the ropes in the black shirt.

And jumping over fire...

Yes, there were two lines of fire!

Oh, and that whole crawling-through-a-mud-pit-under-barbed-wire thing there at the end.  Which, I suppose is kind of nice if you manage to catch yourself on fire from the last obstacle.

 Overall, it was a fun day!  And I even made a special shirt for the occasion:

I got quite a few comments on the shirt-- everyone loved it!

At the end of the race, you could donate your old shoes & they recycle them for affordable footwear for people in need around the world.  Kinda cool, especially since most racers wore the oldest dirtiest pair of shoes they had anyway!

One final picture-- I snapped it on my way out, but truthfully, all I wanted to do was see what this dude looked like at the end of the race!  Also, I wanted to ask him logistical questions like, "Did you paint your body green before or after you got here?"  "If before, is your car seat totally green?"

A Happy Middle between Cloth & Disposable Diapers

Cloth diapers are something I've always been fascinated with since I was a little girl and saw the cute pins that my mom used to fasten them with on my little sister.  As odd as it sounds, I've always wanted to use them.  And now that they're easier than ever (read: no sharp pins!), it was a no-brainer for me.  Thankfully, Josh was agreeable as well.

But that doesn't change that many people think they are absolutely disgusting.  To each their own.  I have my reasons & I won't get offended if you think it's gross (or heck, I'd be offended all the time!).  I think diapers in general are disgusting, whether they're cloth or disposable!

But if you're looking for a mid-way point-- something with the ease of disposable, but the environmentally friendly advantage of cloth... then I have something for you!

Yes, SNL is to credit for this amazing product.  And thanks to Hulu for the link!

Good to Know!

Well, that's good to know, I suppose.

Happy Monday!

You Probably Thought this Deer was Alive... Nope, just Chuck Testa

Now this is a way to start your Monday!  Unless you're an avid member of PETA.  Then I would suggest watching something else.  Otherwise, please enjoy this totally awesome commercial!



I have to say, the guy is good at his taxidermy!  Not so much at commercials... or is he?  I mean, I'm a chick on the east coast watching & sharing his commercial.

Perhaps he's just a marketing genius.

Don't do junk like that to a pregnant woman!

Last week my husband sent me an email.  It went something like this:

[Insert one of my favorite pastors] just confessed to a 3 year affair. Wow. I'm just kidding. I needed to do something to get your attention though. Please watch this video. It's stars [same pastor], and it's amazing, and you will love it. 

I edited out the pastor's name so a google search doesn't start a rumor.

Let me just tell you.  In the first line of that email, my heart sank.  I wanted to throw my computer against the wall and cry.  Thankfully I'm the type of person that reads all the details before outwardly reacting.  

So once I read all the details, I reacted.  I drafted up a snappy response, which included this... times 10.

Don't do junk like that to a pregnant woman.

Didn't you know? Temporary tattoos are in vogue.

Last night my husband came home from work dressed quite differently than he left that morning.  I really wish I had a before picture, but I don't typically make a habit of taking a picture of my husband before he leaves for work.

At first glance, he looks pretty normal.  He works at a church, and he does love his church (so do I!), so what's so different about it?

He had a temporary tattoo of the church logo on the inside of his arm.  Yes.  Let that soak in for a sec.

After laughing for a bit about it, I informed him that I can't pass up this "photo opportunity."  So we hopped outside for a bit to do a mock fashion shoot.

Yet another reason why I love my husband.  He's a kid at heart!

My dog likes to dress up.

Our dogs love to play in our laundry piles on laundry day, which is fine, since we're about to wash them anyway.  But the other day, Jigsaw decided to dress up.  If I didn't know better, I swear he did it to get a laugh out of me, because he acted as if everything was perfectly normal... and even let me run, grab my camera, and walked to where lighting was bright enough to take a picture.

Is he... was he... posing for me?

I love that my dog & I have the same sense of humor.  :)

Revisit 2005 with Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise!

Can we revisit something for a moment?  Remember when Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise started dating?

I do.

Many I wondered what on earth was going on... was it just a publicity stunt?  Surely it was a publicity stunt...

And now, 6 years later, they're still together.

And we were all waiting for an announcement that she was off her rocker & going into rehab or something.

On a side note... Katie supposedly used to have posters of Tom hanging on her wall, dreaming of marrying him someday.  Talk about making your dreams come true!

Did you have posters on your wall growing up?  Who were they of?  Who was your celebrity crush growing up?

'Cause we're two cool kids like that.

Yesterday morning I decided I would go to the gym at some point in the day.  So before I headed out to work I packed a gym bag & set out on my merry way.

6pm rolls around and I tell Josh to meet me at the gym around 7pm.

I get to the gym, change, and head towards the treadmill, which is pretty much the only piece of cardio equipment that I can do while keeping my heart rate at or below 140 (doctor's rule).

And right when I walk out of the locker room, I round the corner to see my dear sweet husband wearing the exact same outfit.

It's not like we were wearing white shirts and black pants to the gym.  Oh no... we had to go all out in our thinking alike.  We had to pick the most stand-out shirts we own and wear them together!

Please excuse our faces in this pic... we just got back from the gym!

So yes, in case anyone at the gym was wondering tonight, we love our church!  We no doubt looked like lunatics that tried to hard, and were probably the topic of some dinner table discussions tonight.

"How was your day, honey?"

"Well, work was fine.  I saw these two crazy people at the gym tonight wearing matching t-shirts that said, 'I <3 My Church.'"

"They were wearing what??"

Yeah, that's right... never underestimate the power of the Fowler's.  This is also the most comfy t-shirt I own.  And I do, in fact, love my church.

Evil Love.

Growing up, and even now, there are few things as fun as hearing stories about your parents when they were younger.  Knowing that they were real humans back then helps soften the teenage years!

My mom told us once about a musician that she dated for a little bit.  Okay, maybe it was one date.  At any rate, the name of his band was Evol (pronounced Evil)... because it was love spelled backwards.

In my opinion, things shouldn't be spelled backwards.  Take Nevaeh, for example.

At any rate, when I was grocery shopping the other day, I couldn't resist taking a picture of this & sending it to my mom (& all my siblings because, you know I had to rub it in).

So mom... you think he started a burrito empire when the music thing didn't work out?