Love who you are.

Comparison is the thief of joy. -Theodore Roosevelt

There are a lot of contradicting messages out there to soak in.  Pinterest is full of amazing decorations, parties, lunches, etc.  There are countless blog posts from moms practically bragging that they don't have it all together... that their house is messy & their kids ate Doritos for dinner.  And don't even get me started on parenting tirades covering everything from infant sleep to breastfeeding to discipline.

Here's the thing.  I'm definitely not an 'everyone gets a trophy' type of person, but sometimes, that's just the way it is. This world needs all types, so please, find your type & go with it!

Love who you are.

And instead of cutting someone else down or making it seem uncool... appreciate it.  Appreciate them.  Celebrate whatever it is.

If you are great at decorating, awesome.  Please always take pictures & post them on Pinterest!  Yes, be a show off.  Be proud of yourself.  And the rest of us need to cheer you on.

Is you house constantly messy?  Are you okay with it?  If so, then embrace it.  Don't skip over posting a cute picture of your kid because the background is messy.  Your kid is cute, so celebrate it.  And the rest of us need to celebrate it, too.

Is your kid not sleeping?  Sure-- search the interwebs for some ideas!  But also, remember that every kid is different.  I found a method that worked absolutely wonderful for my kid and yes, I would highly suggest you use it for yours.  But you may choose another route & that's okay.  It's the beauty of having your own kid-- you get to craft him/her into a tiny human that you like.

I could go on & on.  Every mom could.  It's a constant barrage of messages we're met with each day. 

So I'm working to do my part & I hope you do, too!  What's your part, you ask?

Each time I feel myself thinking too much about something, I think of a way to celebrate it. 

Does someone's Facebook post bother you?  Find a way to celebrate.  See a friend who just had a baby & looks amazing?  (WAY more amazing than you ever did after having a baby?)  Celebrate it.  Share in her joy.  Really truly celebrate.

Comparison is the thief of joy because there is no comparison.  We're just not all the same.  You can't compare yourself to an 18 year old version of you, or a 34 year old version of anyone else.

Love who you are.

Celebrate others.

Vaccines: The long, nitty gritty post that every parent should read.

So I finally did it.  I sat down & typed out my thoughts & feelings about vaccines.  I hope it spurs on other parents to do their own research!  The best source of information I found has been The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears.  It goes through each of the most common vaccines & goes over the following points:

-What is the disease?

-Is the disease common?

-When is the vaccine given?

-How is the vaccine made? (If there are multiple manufacturers, it goes over each one.)

-What ingredients are in the final vaccine solution?
-Are any of the ingredients controversial?

-Any combination shots it can be given with.

-What are the side effects of the vaccine? (Common side effects, severe reactions, postmarketing surveillance, and a summary of reactions.)

-Reasons to get the vaccine.

-Why some people choose not to give the vaccine.

-Options to consider.

-'The Way I See It'- his personal opinion.

Although he is a pro-vaccination kind of guy, I found the book very informative.  There is a lot of his personal opinion in there, but it gave me a jumping off point for my research.  Ingredients were one area that totally confused me.  I would hear that certain ingredients were bad-- but how much is actually in the vaccine, and why is it bad?  He explains that.  It's a lot better than trying to wade through zillions of websites trying to figure out which ones are legitimate and which ones are ridiculous (there are many on both sides).

Okay, so here it is... my thoughts on vaccines:

I believe that it is the parents who need to make decisions for the well-being of their own child, not the state or country.  Furthermore, I believe that EVERY parent should research each vaccine & decide along with a trusted doctor as to what is the best plan for their individual child.  I strongly believe that many parents do very little research, or none at all, regarding vaccines, and that is horrible.  If you are injecting something into your child's body, you need to be researching about it and make an informed decision.  I also believe that two people doing the exact same research can come to very different conclusions.  There is nothing wrong with vaccinating your child, or not vaccinating your child-- so long as you make an informed decision and are prepared for the consequences of your decision & how it will affect you & your child.

Now, as far as effectiveness.  Vaccines are not 100% effective, just like having the disease doesn't guarantee that you'll never get it again (even with things like Chicken Pox).  Personally, I don't want my daughter to have the flu or chicken pox, but I would rather her get the actual sickness than the vaccine because of the risks involved with both.

There is also very little research regarding vaccines, and none of them are from unbiased resources.  This doesn't mean that they aren't harmful, but it also doesn't confirm that they are safe.  Did you know that for the Hep B vaccine that is given AT BIRTH that the research was funded by the vaccine manufacturers & some of the researchers were subsequently hired by the manufacturers, GlaxoSmithKline and Merck?  Some of the CDC members who voted it be added to the infant vaccine schedule received funding from the manufacturer as well.  That doesn't prove anything, but it does represent a huge conflict of interest.  Furthermore, Hep B isn't even a childhood disease.  It is transferred from the mom during birth, through blood transfusions, or through blood contact.  To me, that just seems fishy.  There is not compelling reason to give it to them, especially at birth, so why is it pushed so much?

Then there is the Rotavirus vaccine.  It was taken off of the market in 1999 because of the high risk of intussusception (never mind that 1 in 1000 infants had a seizure after getting it).  Before it was taken off the market, it was on the recommended vaccine schedule.  So all parents following the regular vaccine schedule at that time gave their child that vaccine, that was actually deemed unsafe in the end.  So how much is that happening now?  The flu vaccine is new every year.  It would be over & done with before it could even be taken off the market.

But what about if your child gets the chicken pox of rotavirus?  Boy, is it ever going to stink!  A parent has to take off work & avoid social activities & who knows- it could fall during a planned vacation.  But that is part of it if one chooses against certain (or all) vaccines.  It's important to consider how close & available a hospital or doctors office is as well.  Most places in the US, I would venture to say, are within a reasonable distance.

Regarding other children, it's actually a risk on both sides.  When a non vaccinated child is around another child or adult who has been vaccinated recently, for many of the vaccines there is something called shedding.  That means that for a period of time afterwards (it's different with each one), there is a likelihood that they can pass that sickness on to others.  So for anyone who hasn't had the flu shot, working alongside others who have had it, they are at a higher risk of getting the flu than if their co-worker had never gotten the shot.  Because vaccines have been pushed so much, everyone looks at the non-vaccinated & say "why aren't you doing it, too?"  But the reality is, everyone should be allowed to make their own decisions.  That goes for public school, too.  Instead of saying "you have to vaccinate your kids for them to come" why don't they say, "You have to vaccinate your kid to get them into private school... public school is for everyone else!"  It's just a paradigm shift.

So there it is... an overview of my thoughts on vaccines. It's a bit exhausting to research everything I do with my daughter (ear piercing, vaccines, the food I feed her, etc), but I feel that it is part of being a parent.  And the thing is, vaccines are constantly changing, so research is never really done.

One final thought.  Don't treat others differently for their decisions.  Don't treat their kids differently.  Consider each person as a human being with real thoughts & feelings... after all, that's what they are!

Vaccine Research: What do I do????

What do I do???

I found myself asking this a few months ago.  I had a knot in my stomach.  I was so unsure about vaccinations, but wasn't sure why.  I wanted to tell my doctor to halt everything, but didn't have a reason in the world other than a gut feeling.

If this is you, then here is a starting point.

If it's down to the wire and you are lost and confused and need to buy time, just ask your doctor if you can put off the next vaccination for a little bit until you do further research.  If you're doctor is not okay with this, then you might need to find a new doctor.  Why?  Because this is a sign that your doctor is gung-ho vaccinating all the way, and on time.  And if you're questioning vaccines, then there's a good chance that you & your doctor aren't the right fit.

Each time I have mentioned concerns to my doctor he has been very open to it.  His first suggestion was a spreading out the vaccines.  Instead of shots at 2, 4, and 6 months, she'd get them at 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.  It sounded good to me, so I went with it.  It also bought me some more time.  Once I started really digging into the research, I realized that I'm not sure I want to get her vaccinated at all anymore.  I emailed him some of my thoughts and he said that we could talk about it at the next appointment, or I could schedule an appointment specifically for the talk... it was my choice.

At the next regular appointment we talked more about it.  I shared the information that I brought (just the highlights-- he is a doctor after all!), and my thoughts and feelings towards it.  We settled on no more vaccinations until at least 18 months.

We also talked about rotavirus & Pc vaccine.  I had noticed that Hazel hadn't had all the regular vaccines for her age and asked him about it.  He said he doesn't do those vaccines in his office (unless requested by a parent) because he feels they aren't beneficial enough.

Let me tell you, my doctor is rare.  I honestly am so thankful we have him.  Instead of vaccines being an uphill battle, he is willing to talk with us and understand our concerns as parents.  He respects that we are Hazelnut's parents and we respect that he is going to give us his professional medical opinion as well as his personal opinion.

So if you're questioning things, buy yourself some time.  Do your research.  Know why you choose what you end up choosing.

Vaccine Research: Rotavirus

This is a VERY brief overview of the Rotavirus and vaccine.  Let me say it again… very brief, and definitely not thorough.  Please do your own research (and again, I suggest Dr. Sears book, “The Vaccine Book,” which is where I got this information).

Rotavirus – it’s common, and can be serious in younger infants.  It’s basically a bad stomach bug.  People have died from it—mainly from dehydration.

This tells me that if I don’t get this vaccine for Hazelnut, then I need to be aware.  If she has a bad stomach bug and is vomiting and/or has diarrhea, then I need to have her checked out by my doctor.  If it’s bad (which is very rare), I should expect hospitalization in order to get fluids in her.

From what I can tell, this isn’t an issue anymore, but the original vaccine caused seizures in 1 in 1,000 infants, among other things.  The vaccine was re-vamped in 1999 because of what they learned.

To me, this throws up a red flag.  Sure, they changed it, and that is good.  But before that, this vaccine was causing lots of issues, one of which affected my husband when he was younger.  So let’s think about it… what may be in the vaccines, or what may the vaccines be causing now, that we won’t know about for several more years?  Maybe nothing, maybe something.  The thing is, we just don’t know.

It’s a risk.

It’s a risk to get the vaccine, and it’s a risk to not get the vaccine.  The thing you have to consider is which one is the bigger risk.  And unfortunately, there isn’t enough research on either side to give us a definitive answer.  Fun, right?

This vaccine is given orally at 2, 4, and 6 months.  Hazelnut never had an oral vaccine.  I’ll have to double check with our doctor, but I’m fairly certain she hasn’t had this vaccine at all.  I’m not sure why, but I’m thankful.  The Vaccine Book says that infants who have birth defects related to the intestinal system shouldn’t have this vaccine because of issues it could cause (p. 68 Oct 2011 edition).  Hazelnut has had intestinal issues from the beginning.  Are those issues bad enough to fall into that category?  I’m not sure, but I’m thinking it may be part of the reason why she never (to my knowledge) got this vaccine..  And for that, I’m thankful.  Thankful that although I didn’t start researching until later, I’m still able to make a choice on this.

I’m going to end with this:  I’m not an expert.  I’m just a mom trying to figure out the best for my child.  If you’re a parent, please do the research yourself.  If you’re thinking, “Hey, vaccines are safe!  I had them and I’m just fine!”  just please do the research yourself so that you can back up your reasoning.  After doing research, many families choose to vaccinate, and many choose not to.  But if something goes wrong, you want to know that you  made the best decision that you could for your child and your family.

Vaccine Research: Finding Reputable Resources

This is part two of an unknown amount of posts sharing the information I've learned about vaccines while researching. I am in no way an expert or a doctor.  I encourage you to do your own research and make an informed decision!

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So where did I get my info from?  I struggled through my research online for a little while.  It was tough.  Most everything was incredibly biased towards one direction or the other, and there was very little research on either side, which just puts a bad taste in my mouth.  I get being passionate about something, but you have to have facts and research to back up that passion.

A lot of key phrases were being thrown about:

"Herd immunity!"

"Vaccines don't cause autism!"

"Vaccines are the devil!"

and my personal favorite... "There's no research saying that vaccines are harmful."

Well, there's certainly not enough research confirming that they are safe.  Maybe a study here or there of 1300 infants, but that's not nearly enough to be conclusive.  So basically, there's not much research at all on the effects of vaccines.

So either we can fund the research (which I don't exactly have enough saved up for), or we can look at what we do know-- the ingredients and what few side effects we have learned (although because of poor research, these side effects can't even be confirmed that they are or are not from vaccines!).

Dr. Sears book "The Vaccine Book" is great because although it is biased, it at least presents most of the important information, including what each disease is that we are trying to prevent, how common it is, how 'bad' it is, what the ingredients and processes are in making the vaccine, and what the normal reactions are.  It focuses mainly on vaccines in the US, so outside of the US, this wouldn't be a great resource at all.

A tidbit of what I've learned (and this part is a little more biased because it's my opinion, based on the research I've found).  Most of the diseases we're vaccinating against aren't that bad.  And most are very uncommon in the US.  Now that's where the herd immunity debate comes in, but like I said, each parent needs to make their own informed choice.

I do have to say though, after reading up on a bunch of diseases that I wasn't familiar with, the way they described chicken pox sounded much worse than most of the others.  But again, this is my own perception, and each parent needs to research for themselves.

And no, Dr. Sears isn't giving me a kickback for this... the book is just that good.

Vaccine Research: Make an Informed Decision

This started out as a Facebook post, but quickly got too long.  So I turned it into a blog post... but then it started to run long here, too!  So now I'm breaking it into several blog posts.  There's a lot of info, but I want to make it easy as possible to understand.  I'll share some of my views, but I also want to keep this neutral.  I strongly believe that each parent is entrusted with their child's life, and therefore needs to make the decision for themselves.  In my humble opinion, way too many parents vaccinate just because it's 'what you're supposed to do.'  That is a terrible reason.

So sit back and enjoy the cliff notes of what I've learned.

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Before Hazelnut was born I was uneasy about vaccines.  In my heart I just felt there was something fishy to the whole thing.  Sure, there were a lot of people who were perfectly normal, but then there were many people I knew that their children had strong adverse reactions to vaccines.

I was encouraged to go ahead with vaccines-- "they're safe and normal.  Just don't get too many done at once."

So I went with it... without researching anything.  I felt bad about it, but I was overwhelmed with so many new things and just didn't have time.  I told my doctor that I didn't want her to have the combo vaccines and I wanted to separate them as much as possible.  He suggested doing half the 2 month shots at 2 months, and the other half at 3 months.  Then half the 4 month shots at 4 months, and the other half at 5 months, and so on.  Sounded good to me, so I went with it.  I really had no clue whether that was what I wanted or not, but it sounded good and I hadn't done any research, so what could I really suggest otherwise?

Looking back I can't believe I let the nurses inject substances into my baby that I knew nothing about.  Nothing!  I wouldn't let my doctor check me at my last few appointments when I was pregnant because I didn't want the risk of introducing infection... yet I let them give Hazel vaccines that I knew nothing about?  How very hypocritical of me.  I was arbitrarily picking and choosing what was "safe" or not.

I've been researching vaccines for about a month now.  Once I really got my hands on definite information and what little research has been done, my choices were very clear.  I strongly suggest that each parent research them before giving them to your kids.  If you think you're going to vaccinate then do a little research-- make sure that you are able to back up your decision.  Worst case scenario (& I know no one wants to think about it), if something negative does happen, you don't want to go "Oh no!  I wish I'd researched more!"  Instead, you can know that it's the risk that you chose.  That given the risks and benefits, you made the best decision you could for your child, and you won't regret that decision.

And on the flip side.  If a parent chooses to not vaccinate, or to choose only certain vaccines.  If their child gets a disease or has an adverse reaction to a vaccine, the parent can at least know that they made the best informed decision that they could.  That they carefully researched and did not make the decision lightly.

That's my 2 cents for now.  In future posts I'll share the highlights of what I've learned, the best resources I've found, and other tidbits.  Feel free to ask questions as it goes.  I'm not going to promise that I can answer them because I am in no way an expert, but I will do my best to find the answer!