Dear _____________,

Dear _____________,

Ten years ago, our church hired a new pastor.  He was vibrant & excited to take on the job.  We were all excited, after looking almost two years for the perfect pastor for us, we finally found him!

But you... I remember what you said to his wife.  Don't let us suck you dry.  Don't let him die 20 years too early of a heart attack.  Okay, so I'm paraphrasing, but that was the general gist of it.

It had never occurred to me the toll that a church takes on its pastor.  One man, trying to do it all.  Our church had about 300 people, which was large for our area.  If someone was sick, he made the calls.  I remember once he did something like 10 funerals in 2 weeks.  Others helped, of course, but a lot fell on the pastor.

I want to thank you.  Thank you for sharing this insight with me, even though it didn't apply to me at the time.  First of all, I learned to appreciate our pastor in a whole new way.  What a huge job!  Secondly, I was soon to meet Mr. Fowler, my future husband.  And within two years, he would be playing a pretty major role in a church, thrusting me into the world of being a ministry wife.

The other day I read this article.  Seven Lies that Ministry Wives Believe.  Although I've struggled with some of them a little bit, none have ever been a huge struggle for me, and I firmly believe it's because of the foundation that you set all those years ago.  The kind warning you gave to a ministry wife, emphasizing the importance of protecting your husband so that he can continue on his mission from God.  The importance of protecting your family.

I wish I could remember exactly who you are.  There are about 5 ladies that I have it narrowed down to.  Please know, I'm thankful.  Being a ministry family is tough & often requires a lot of extra time, but you remind us that we need to put it all in perspective.  To have a servants heart, but also to keep ourselves strong to keep on going.

I'm also very thankful that God has called us to a church with many pastors, all taking a piece of the role.  With 3500 people, one, two, or five pastors just can't do it all.  We have pastors in place to take care of needs, but we also encourage our members to serve each other like a pastor would.  I love that!  When we were in the hospital when our daughter was born, the Chaplain came by to ask if we wanted her to notify our church.  It was almost comical because we'd already had so many visitors from our church.  The church as a whole cares for each others needs, not just the pastor.  It's wonderful.

So thank you.  Thank you for instilling these things in me at a young age, not knowing how important it would be for my future.  Thank you.

-Susan

The 7 Year Itch

Seven years.  Seven!  Today marks our 7th wedding anniversary and man, do I ever love that guy more & more every single day.

Ten minutes into our anniversary he asked me, "So, do you have the seven year itch?"

I laughed.  I was about to ask him the same thing.  Truth be told, I'd been thinking about it for our past two anniversaries.  It's not that I was scared, but just a little curious as to whether we'd feel that tinge.

And the answer?  Not at all.

Truth be told, I feel more attracted to him than I ever have before.  More in love.  More secure.  More like a family.  We've always been a team & we still are... but stronger.

We're definitely in a comfortable spot in our marriage.  At least once a week we'll accidentally wear matching outfits.  We come up with the same 'new' ideas at the same time.  It's great, actually.  One of us will have a wild idea and the other one is already on board.  We know what makes each other tick & try to avoid those thing.  We're not as headstrong towards each other.

Also?  We've started finding pictures of ourselves & can't remember when they were taken.  That's right... we're getting old.

We know the photobooth is in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, but we're not sure if we were married or not.  It kind of looks like Josh is wearing a wedding ring.  It was definitely a day trip.

People ask us a lot about how we do it.  What marriage is like.  How it is to come home to the same person every day for seven years.  

It's all God.  Keep God in the center, and everything else will work itself out.  And coming home to the same godly man everyday is a dream come true!

The only question Josh had for my friend when she handed him my number was, "Is she a Christian?"  When she told me that, I knew he was different.  I am so blessed to be his wife.

Joy.

My kid brings me an incredible amount of joy.  Or rather, she reminds me of the joy in life.  Just look at this face... how can you not smile?

If you'll look at the background of this picture, you can see what a wreck my house is right now.  You can see baby clothes strewn throughout the floor, a cord dangling from the table, and my kid is standing on an upside down stool.

Also, she's not wearing pants.

My life is a mess a lot of times.  A LOT OF TIMES.  We're two creative, extremely busy people with a toddler.

But we continue to stick to the rule that we've kept since we got married: If it comes between a happy marriage (or in this case, family) or a clean house, we'll choose the former every single time.  I admit, it's the easy way out, too!  I'd much rather spend quality time with the ones I love rather than clean.

In the end, though, it works.  We're coming up on our 7th anniversary, and we're still wildly in love.  We have an adorable one year old who is generally happy & loves to see her parents hug & kiss.

What are the things in your life that get forgotten sometimes in order to keep your family going strong?

Just when you least expect it.

I gave Hazel a long bath tonight.  She splashed & played & had a grand ol' time.  Usually I have everything laid out on my bed for after the bath.  That way I wrap her in a towel, lay her on my bed, and have everything there ready for bedtime.

But not tonight.  I just grabbed a towel and headed for the bath.  Afterwards I was soaking wet and she was happy as a clam.  I scooped her up in the towel & headed for the changing table in her room when I realized I didn't have any nighttime diapers ready.  So I tried to lay her on the changing table while I double-stuffed a diaper but she wasn't having it.  I put everything down & played with her cute little naked self for a moment.  She is so happy naked-- it's quite hilarious.

It was bedtime, though, so I went ahead and put her in the crib, naked, so that I could finish getting everything ready.  I even made sure to put her in there standing up so she wouldn't think it was bedtime and cry.

That's when it happened.

She peed everywhere.

I have to admit, it was kind of cute.  And I knew it would happen.  I mean, if you put a naked baby anywhere other than the tub or the changing table, it is going to pee.

All down the sides of her freshly washed legs, onto her little yellow sheets.  And she was happy as a clam, smiling up at me.  I couldn't help but laugh.

I picked her up, wiped her down, put a diaper on her and snuggled.

And finally, it has paid off to keep two sets of sheets on the bed with a waterproof cover in between! I pulled the top two layers off and had clean sheets ready for bedtime-- instantly!

This is what I live with...

My two favorite people doing their silliness.  I love them.  :)

Thankful Beyond what I can even Comprehend.

Since it's Thanksgiving, I'm pretty much required to write about what I'm thankful for.  I tried to do a neat spin on it, but there's something awesome about just being truly thankful for all the boring things in life.  Except, you know, my life isn't boring and all.  ;)

Last year I was a little emotional on this day.  Everything in our house was packed up and it was the last holiday that we were certain we would see our family.  I mean, we knew that we'd see our family on future holidays, but we didn't know which ones, or how it would work out.  An 8 hour drive is much further than a 1-3 hour drive!

But still, I was thankful for the new adventure in life.  We knew that this was the final step for us.  The final move (at least for a long time), and I'm thankful that we still feel that way after a year.

I'm thankful for our amazing God.  He is incredible!  I mean, we aren't that great of people, and still... we have an absolutely ridiculous amount of blessings.

If you'd told us last year we'd be expecting a little one in January, I'm not sure we would have believed you.  Truly, we would have squealed in  excitement, but wouldn't have ever guessed it.  Don't get me wrong, she wasn't a surprise... we had planned & hoped for a little one... but truly didn't think we'd be at a point financially & emotionally to have children yet.

So last night as I stayed up until 2:30am furiously cleaning the nursery, I was thankful.  Thankful that maintenance fixed our closet so I could begin to hang items in there again.  Thankful that I had the energy to clean that much for that long.  I am not the type of person that has to have everything clean, but thankfully that nesting urge kicked in around the 6.5 month mark!  And oh-so-thankful to have my amazing husband by my side.  His nesting urge wasn't quite as much, but he stayed up with me (he's not a night owl at all!), and helped move large pieces of furniture around the house-- and put the stroller together!

Looking through archives, I found this picture.  I'd put song lyrics on it... and I think it sums up today perfectly.  "You only have on life to try to find out what it means to be alive."  That, my friends, is the key to thankfulness... knowing what it means to be alive.

What are you thankful for this year?

'Cause we're two cool kids like that.

Yesterday morning I decided I would go to the gym at some point in the day.  So before I headed out to work I packed a gym bag & set out on my merry way.

6pm rolls around and I tell Josh to meet me at the gym around 7pm.

I get to the gym, change, and head towards the treadmill, which is pretty much the only piece of cardio equipment that I can do while keeping my heart rate at or below 140 (doctor's rule).

And right when I walk out of the locker room, I round the corner to see my dear sweet husband wearing the exact same outfit.

It's not like we were wearing white shirts and black pants to the gym.  Oh no... we had to go all out in our thinking alike.  We had to pick the most stand-out shirts we own and wear them together!

Please excuse our faces in this pic... we just got back from the gym!

So yes, in case anyone at the gym was wondering tonight, we love our church!  We no doubt looked like lunatics that tried to hard, and were probably the topic of some dinner table discussions tonight.

"How was your day, honey?"

"Well, work was fine.  I saw these two crazy people at the gym tonight wearing matching t-shirts that said, 'I <3 My Church.'"

"They were wearing what??"

Yeah, that's right... never underestimate the power of the Fowler's.  This is also the most comfy t-shirt I own.  And I do, in fact, love my church.

4:40am Grocery Trip?!

Last Sunday morning Josh woke me up at 5:30am to tell me goodbye.

No, he didn't leave me.  5:30am is when he leaves for church.  But that's not the sickening part.  The sickening part is that he also told me he went grocery shopping.

My little pea brain couldn't comprehend that bit of information. The night before when I went to sleep he was already snoozing & had not gone grocery shopping... so when did this happen, exactly?

4:40am.  My husband went grocery shopping at 4:40am on a Sunday.  Unlike me, he's the kind of guy that gets up 2 hours early to get ready, make a big breakfast, watch some TV, and then head out.  I wake up 15 minutes before I have to leave, run a brush through my hair and put on whatever shoes are closest to the door.

So at 4:40am he realized there wasn't sufficient breakfast food for him to eat.  He considered IHOP, but didn't want to blow his diet, so he decided to go by Wal-Mart to get some stuff.  Then, while at Wal-Mart he saw that there was no one else actually shopping, so he breezed through the store & did our entire weekly shopping trip.

At 4:40am.  I still can't comprehend it.

What's funny is his passive agressive way to get me to eat healthier.  You know... Organic Cinnamon Crunch.

Sorry the box is gross-- I had to dig it out of the trash.  ;)  Not. kidding.

This week's shopping trip?

It takes me back to the weekends a few years ago when we would have 'Cereal Weekends.'  We'd each buy a box of cereal, get a gallon of milk, and that's what we'd eat for pretty much every meal all weekend!  Not very healthy, but it was perfect for lazy weekends!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, amazing husband!

Today is my husband's birthday.  Words cannot express how amazing he is.  They just can't.  He makes marriage easy.  He's like Superman, constantly doing things for me, taking good care of himself, and being a great friend to others.

He makes me laugh, and I know he'll be the best daddy ever to our little one!

Check out his blog over at Joshblog.cc!

The best proposal story I've ever seen/read.

It's hard to impress me when it comes to engagement stories.  Personally, I think I have an awesome engagement story.  Josh did a great job of surprising me, incorporating my dad, and adding a unique spin to the event.  I'll have to tell it here sometime (if I haven't already?).

At any rate, no matter how romantic it is, I'm usually not as impressed as the average person, although I should be, 'cause I'm a total sucker for love.

But this guy?  This guy went all out.  Dare I say... the most unique, detail oriented story I've heard?  Maybe... maybe the best?  I know that's daring to say, but this is just insane!

Here's a screenshot from her blog-- click on it or click here to read the story & see the pictures-- I promise you won't regret it!

What's the best proposal story you've ever heard?  What was your proposal story?

5 (five).

This was supposed to post yesterday... on our anniversary.  But Blogger wasn't being very friendly, so it never got posted.  I couldn't just ignore it, though, as it was a very special post.  So here it is!


--------------------------------

Honestly?  One of my favorite things is when someone asks how long Josh & I have been married.  I used to hate saying "one year" or "two years" because I felt like it didn't adequately describe how strong our marriage was.

I love counting up the years.  It makes me feel more legit.  I mean, when you get married at 19 and have been married for a year, it just doesn't seem as legit as saying five years.

And boy, I can't wait until 10, 20, & 50 years!  Maybe I'll still fit into my wedding dress like Marie Osmond.

I wish I knew the secret to a great marriage.  My "secret" is having God in the center of our relationship from the beginning.  That and, I married Josh Fowler.  He has such a heart for God.  I love that I've never had to push him to go to church... never had to beg him to make me a priority.  Our marriage is blessed because he works so hard at making sure it is!

For real... if you've met him, you know why I say that.  He is ridiculously sweet to me & pampers me beyond belief.

Thank you, Mr. Fowler, for making me your Mrs.  I'm honored beyond belief, and enjoy every minute of life with you!  You've pushed both of us beyond our limits and we've become better people because of it.

5 years. 4 states. $45,000 paid off in debt. 2 cars. Thank you for sharing in my hopes and dreams.

"Yeah we've both got dreams we could chase alone, or we could make our own!"

Thank you for making dreams with me.  We're making them real... together!

Bonus?  This is Friday the 13th!!  I was born on a Friday the 13th, and 13 is my lucky number.

Born: June 13
Met Josh: April 13
Josh proposed: June 13 (yes, my b-day, but he still managed to surprise me!)
Anniversary: May 13

Saturday Funny.

A few weeks ago I went out of town for a wedding.  When I came back, Josh & I had this conversation:

Him: I found your stash of hairspray

Me: I wasn't hiding it!

Growing up, my dad & brothers acted as if they didn't even know what hairspray was, so it still cracks me up that my man uses it.  Obviously, lots of men do, especially those that spike their hair.  But it still cracks me up.

I was kind of hoarding it in the guest bathroom...

What are you going to be when you grow up?

My mom must've thought he was crazy when he told her he was going to be a musician.  I mean, if your daughter was dating a 19 year old boy who said he was going to be a musician, what would your first thoughts be?

But my mother politely asked more questions.  She's never been one to squash dreams, so she carried on.

Years later she told me about that day.  It was at my last choral concert in high school.  They were making small talk beforehand when she asked Josh what he wanted to do for a living.  She wasn't quite sure what to think about it, except that I had always dated dreamers.  The kind of guy who lived a bit in the clouds. Whose goals were not average, and definitely a bit abstract.

But 7 years later, he's spent most of those years doing music.  Sometimes full time, sometimes part time.  Almost always doing music.

It's what I love about him, and I'm so proud of him.  :)

What's the thing you used to tell people you'd be when you grew up?  Did it happen?  Has it changed?

Seven.

I once met a kid names Cevan.  Pronounced as "seven."

But that's not the point.

Seven years ago today I was shopping at the mall on spring break.  I talked with a cute guy, who had some family from the same area I grew up.  He blinked a lot.  He mentioned he was going to seminary soon.

As I left the store my friend said I should give him my number.  At first I said no, but after a little coaxing I agreed.  But I was too shy to go back in there, so I convinced her to do it.  We also didn't have anything to write my number down on, so we settled for a food court napkin.

My friend gave my number to him and he asked if I was a Christian.  She answered, "Oh yes" and left.

He threw it away.

His co-worker dug it out of the trash.  "Call her, she's hot."

He held on to it and spent the next two days asking his friends whether or not he should call me.  He had great friends who had logical thinking patterns, so they told him to not call me.  I imagine it went something like, "No, don't call the crazy chick that gave you her phone number at the mall."


After I left the mall my friend and I went to eat at Chili's and got this volcano of chocolate cake and yumminess.  I must have been daydreaming because she looked at me and said, "Don't worry, Susan.  He'll call, and you guys will fall in love and get married and have lots of babies."  I had to ask her what his name was again, because I'd forgotten.  I wrote it down on another napkin to memorize, just in case he called (to this day I'm still bad with names).


Two days later I got a call from a strange number.  I was at my parents house, where my cell phone normally didn't get signal.  I picked it up and tried to act all calm.

Me: "Hello?"
Him: "Hey"
*awkward silence*
Him: "Do you know who this is?"
Me: [YESSSSSSS!!!!!!! OMG I can't believe you actually called me!!!!!]  "No, who is this?"
Him: "Well, if you don't remember then nevermind."
Me: "No, this is Josh, isn't it?"

And that, folks, was the start of a beautiful friendship between two people who really, really loved to talk.  Oh, and we did fall and love and get married... but no children yet.

Yellow: Update

Last week I wrote about how "Yellow" has really helped our marriage.  Every time one of us gets frustrated or annoyed or feel an argument coming on, we say, "Yellow."

We instantly realize that whatever we're talking about is going to cause an argument, and then, it's really just not worth it.

The other day, Josh told me, "You know, the whole 'yellow' thing is really working out."

And it is!  In fact, we haven't had one argument since we started it.

And let me tell you, for two strong-willed people,  that is amazing.  And really awesome!

I did have to call "yellow" the other day when he started singing 'Yellow Submarine.'  I'd seen the album cover and all, but apparently I'd never heard the song.  I love the Beatles-- they're hanging on my living room wall-- but that song is annoying!

DIY Heart Fun

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I originally took this photo for 'hearts' week over at I Heart Faces.  However, I had completely finished editing the image when I realized that it was supposed to have a face in it (I Heart Faces... duh).  So I saved it for today, and decided to do a little DIY for y'all.

This is a really simple image to set up.  So simple, that you probably already see exactly how to do it.  But just in case, here's the skinny:

Find a book (or in my case, a photo album) with wide pages.  They can be thicker than the average book, but you don't want anything too thick that will be hard to bend.

Then find two pages about in the middle and fold the edges in towards the spine to create the heart effect.  Make sure everything is nice and tidy, and then fix the book to where your heart is standing up.

I love to get on the same level as subjects because of the perspective it brings.  Here, I had the book laying on the floor and I was on the floor as well.

Once I was done I popped the image into Lightroom and added the 'Roses Dreamly' present and then altered the tint to more of a pink color.  After all, it is a heart!

Now go, spend Valentine's day with those you love!

Why Yellow is Great for our Marriage.

Run/jog/walking the Noland Trail has become a Friday tradition in our marriage.  It's a 5 mile trail and great for our workouts.

But there's one problem.  We haven't been able to make it the whole 5 miles without an squabbling.  Sure, this was only our 3rd week, but fighting is no fun, so we had to figure out a way to make it stop.

So this morning, we came up with a code word.  As soon as one of us started to realize a fight starting, we said, "Yellow."

1) It breaks up the flow of conversation.

2) It can stop a convo before it goes too far downhill (into a disagreement).

3) It's kinda funny.

And you know what?  It worked!  Before we even hit 1/2 a mile, Josh had to call out 'yellow.'  I never even saw it coming but once he said 'yellow,' I realized why he said it.

We decided to keep it going throughout the day, and it's pretty magical!

How do you keep arguments from happening with the ones you love?

Marriage & Wal-Mart pizza.

Last week on Facebook I mentioned that my hubby and I were one step away from divorce.

Now that is a huge exaggeration.  If you know me & my hubs, we're pretty tight.  But we have our moments, and most every marriage does.

But we did have a few scuffs over a 2 day period.  Who knows how it started, but I was annoyed and wanted him to give me a sweet hug and sweep me off my feet, and he wasn't having it because, well, I wasn't exactly acting like a princess.  But I wasn't acting like a princess because there were things I'd asked him to do for the past month and a half that still hadn't been done and...

you get the point.  There was not right or wrong and it was a snowball rolling downhill.  None of it was life altering.

But we were having friends over on the evening of that second day, so we both knew we were going to have to find some resolution, and I think we were glad for it.

Josh is the cook in the family. He loves to cook, and he's really great at it, too!  The downside?  He'll spend 2 hours creating the perfect meal and getting every dish in the house dirty.

I, on the other hand, can get every dish dirty in 20 minutes flat.


I didn't want to put his fancy dinner on the sacrificial altar, but it happened anyway.  We were driving to the store, discussing how we can make the dinner faster and things continued downhill.  I'm talking we were arguing over which grocery store would be cheaper to go to after you figure in the cost of gas.  And we get 35 mpg in our car.  That's when we decided that maybe it would be best if we scrapped dinner altogether.

So we did.  We went straight to Wal-Mart and bought one of those amazingly yummy Wal-Mart pizzas, some spinach for a salad, and apple turnovers for dessert.

And you know what?  We were like two teenagers walking around Wal-Mart all gooey and lovey.

Marriage isn't perfect, and it sure can get messy sometimes, but man, is it awesome when you get to work together as a team!

A look back at 2010.

Yup... you read the title... I'm doing a look back at 2010.  I went through and chose one (yes, only one!) picture from each month and even linked back to a few of the posts... enjoy!

January.

We rung in the new year with one of our dearest friends, Rebecca.  She's such a strong woman and we had a blast!  To my recollection, I fell asleep before midnight.  :(

February.

February 14th was the launch of Relate Church, which Josh and I were helping out with during their beginning stages. (excuse the crazy editing...)

March.

Rylie joined our family in March!  My brother & his wife have been married 13 years, so it was about time!

April.

In April some of our friends from Atlanta came to visit!  So much fun, and we had lunch at our favorite place in Greenville-- The Lazy Goat.

May.

2010 had many great moments... many.  But being on the Dave Ramsey TV show was definitely one of the biggest highlights! (You can view our portion here) We had been following his principles to get out of debt for 3 years and were finally able to scream We're debt free!! in front of all his viewers.  It felt great to finally be out of debt for good!

June.

You can read this story here, here, and here.  I never intended it to be a series, but it ended up going on for quite awhile. Worst part? Josh was out of town and I didn't have a car to take Max to the vet... so I had to bum rides! I was very thankful for some great friends.

July.

One Friday night Josh & I were looking forward to relaxing as Saturday would start a busy weekend.  Then my dad called and asked if we wanted to come to the Swannanoa Gathering (Part 1 & Part 2). We went, and I'm so thankful. Not only was it a blast, but now that we've moved, we won't be able to do things like that anymore. Carpe diem, eh?

August.

With August came a new job, which was exactly what I needed.  My sister also let me borrow her car for a few months, which was a major blessing!  It did have a few troubles, though... like the door handles fell off!  Thankfully, my dad was able to fix it (Josh was out of town).  But when we pulled the door apart we saw that my brother had clearly done the same thing in the past.

September.

The beginning of September brought a lot of overtime for me, which meant a lot of extra money going to savings.  The last part of September brought a lot of family time... which was fabulous!  This picture was at my parents house when they had to take everything out of their cabinets to run a water line to their new fridge... talk about a mess!  The stuff from the fridge was all in the sink and everything from the cabinets was, well, everywhere else!

October.

What a month of anticipation! Josh resigned from his day job to do music, and was almost immediately contacted by a church in Virginia. I interviewed, and was offered a permanent position at the company where I was a temp. We spent as much time enjoying life as possible, including going to my old high school football rivalry game, and enjoying fabulously free dates in downtown Greenville.

November.

All the anticipation of October came to life in November.  I had to turn down the job offer (which was a dream job) because... Josh was offered the position in Virginia!  I have to admit, it stung a little to turn it down, but we both knew that Virginia was where we needed to be. So we packed up and moved right after Thanksgiving.

December.

At the beginning of the year we were still settling into our apartment in Greenville.  And by December, we were settling in a new apartment 8 hours away.  Funny where life takes you sometimes, but we know that it's where we're supposed to be, and... for the first time... a place where we'll be settled.

Chances are, most of you starting reading this blog within the past year, since that's when I started writing exclusively on here (rather than on a private blog), started working with BlogHerwww.blogher.com, and became syndicated through BlogHer.  I sincerely appreciate your readership and hope you'll stay with me for another year on here!

It's the little things... and the big things... that keep us together.

Before Josh and I got married we talked to everyone we knew about marriage.  It was easy to be humble in the matter because neither one of us had any idea about what it took to be married and stay married, except that we were willing to do whatever it takes.

So we talked to a lot of different people about it.  Sometimes in passing, sometimes in long conversations.  And we didn't just stick with couples who had been married a long time.  We talked to older couples, younger couples, couples with lots of kids, couples with no kids, singles, many who were divorced-- sometimes several times over.  I even like to talk to people who were bitter about marriage.

There was something to learn from everyone.  But there were a few things that they missed, so I'd like to let you in on it.

How to have a great marriage:

Remember things for the other person when you're at the store.

Cook!  There is something so special about putting the effort into cooking a meal for your loved one.

Guys?  Let her be sad when there is a person begging on the side of the road.

Love her hometown.

Be completely, ridiculously silly sometimes.

Did I mention cooking?

I'd also like to revisit the being silly part.  If you ask for your sunglasses and she hands you hers, just embrace it.  Who's going to see?

Unless, of course, she has a blog.  And then everyone will see.  But they'll also see that you're a great husband!