The bride & groom invited you to attend their wedding... not photograph it.

The bride & groom invited you to attend their wedding... not photograph it.

They invited you to witness their exchange of vows... their first kiss as a married couple... their official debut as husband & wife.  They couldn't invite everyone, but they chose you to share that special day with them.  That seat your sitting in?  It cost money.  The food you're eating?  Probably pretty pricey.  They even paid for a professional photographer to capture all the moments so nothing would be missed.  Oh, and that delicious cake... there's a piece with your name on it!

So why on earth are you spending the entire time taking pictures?

When I attend weddings, I typically ask myself one question: What's the end result of this photograph?

Do I plan to scrapbook it?  Frame it? Put it on Instagram?

I dare say that very few are planning on making a full wedding day scrapbook for the bride & groom.  And if they are... why?  That's why the bride & groom have chosen & met with a wedding photographer.  Most are just taking pictures for the sake of taking pictures.  They plan on uploading them to Facebook afterwards (or worse... during the wedding).  Trust me, Facebookland doesn't need 62 snapshots from so&so's wedding.

Yet wedding after wedding, I see multiple people zooming around with their cameras.  Capturing the bride walking down the aisle, the vows, the lighting of the unity candle, the first kiss, the couple walking back down the aisle, the first dance, the father/daughter dance, the cake cutting... do I need to go on?

www.FowlerPhoto.net

It's quite amazing how many people have their phones or cameras up, taking a picture as the bride walks down the aisle.  To me, it's kind of rude.  You've been invited to attend a wedding, to witness a marriage.  The couple wants you to be there to celebrate with them... not to be a back-up wedding photographer.

In fact, most of my brides still choose not to see their groom before walking down the aisle... because they consider the moment that special.  So if that moment is so special to her, why are you taking a picture instead of joyfully smiling with her?

I will never forget walking down the aisle on my wedding day.  There were no cell phone cameras pointed towards me.  Only smiling faces of friends & family.  I've never smiled so big in my life.  I was so excited & felt so blessed that these loved ones had come to my wedding.  They were there for me & Josh!  I looked at their faces as I passed by, all full of emotions, and it was wonderful!  Every bride should feel that special.

Is it wrong to take a picture at a wedding?  Of course not.  But please consider the bride & groom.  Enjoy their day with them.  Celebrate their marriage.  Trust me, they will appreciate it!

www.FowlerPhoto.net

Pet Peeve.

I try to be level headed.  I try to look at things from all perspectives.  But the one thing that really makes me grind my teeth is when someone can't comprehend that there is another point of view.

You know what I'm talking about... that person that thinks s/he is totally right all the time & that everyone else around them must be stupid.

The person that can't see beyond what's right in front of them.

The one that can't understand why anyone would do something differently than them.  Would believe something differently than them.

"She doesn't let her kid have candy?  That's so dumb."  Is it?  Really?  Ever stop to consider that she might have a reason?

"I would never let my kid do _______.  That's irresponsible & bad parenting."  Woah... don't even get me started there!

...okay... clearly I hear it with parenting a lot!

It's okay to have opinions.  It's fine to voice those opinions.  But it's not okay to dismiss the idea that someone else has a different opinion.  A different viewpoint.  A different reason.  You don't have to agree with them, nor do you have to condone it.  But you do have to realize that maybe, just maybe, they are doing the best that they can.  Understand that everyone doesn't believe the same as you about everything.

I admit, it can be hard to live this out.  And I'm definitely not perfect.  But hey, what would life be if we did everything perfect all the time?

What are your thoughts?  Are there subjects that you find it very hard to accept that others believe differently?  How do you handle it?

Entitlement, Hard Work, and AFAB

Admittedly, I haven't kept up with the whole Wall Street protest thing.  As I researched to find out what it was all about, it seems to me that the actual movement may have something to it, but 99% of the people involved probably aren't smart enough to understand the intricacies of it.  I know I'm not.

So this post isn't really about the whole Occupy Wall Street thing because I can't really make an informed statement about it.

This post is more about entitlement.  My generation is often called 'the generation of entitlement' and that is not in a good context.  I admit, I have a sense of entitlement that I have to keep in check.  I feel that I've worked hard, made good grades, done the right things, made wise choices, and therefore I should be able to afford to buy a house instead of live in this tiny apartment.  I mean, I have a lot of friends that didn't work as hard or make as good of grades.  They partied through college & they already have houses...

But the thing is, we can't afford a house right now.  We're saving up, and although we feel like we should be at a point where we can buy a house, we just aren't yet.  The end.

Whose fault is it?  Well, it's not anyone's fault... it's just a fact.  It's not the government's fault, and it's not the bank's fault.  It's just not in the cards yet.  Big whoop.  I still have a roof over my head & money to pay the rent every month, so life really isn't all that bad!  Yes, I want better than what I have right now, but I'm very grateful for what I have.

I've seen this flying around Facebook & it really struck me:

I could have written this myself.  Other than a few minor details, this is my story.  I still can't figure it out, but somehow I knew from kindergarten that I needed to make good grades to get a scholarship to go to college.  There were 5 kids in my family & I was expected to go to college ('cause Lord knows I wasn't going to cut it in the family construction business!).  In order to go to college, I had to get scholarships.  I was terrible at sports, so everything was riding on my good grades.  Luckily, I was good in school, formed good study habits, and graduated in the top 5% of my senior class.

All but my room & board were covered in scholarships at the modest state school I went to.  It was a university & provided a fine (although quite liberal) education.  My parents were able to (& gladly) covered my room & board.  I maintained a 3.8 throughout college & graduated a semester early.  I also got married after my sophomore year, so my parents no longer paid room & board because Josh & I were paying rent instead.

By the time I graduated I was making much better than minimum wage.  I started at a counseling center filing paperwork & worked my way up until they trained me to actually work with clients to reach their therapy goals.  We did have debt, so Josh & I both took to working nights at Domino's delivering pizzas.

Then?  Then God called us to move to Atlanta & we both pretty much started over job-wise.  And did you know that between delivering pizza's & working as a nanny for 20 hours a week, you can live in Alpharetta, GA?  You can.  We barely made ends meet, but we made it happen.

My point is, there's no replacement for hard work.  You can be given all the money in the world, but unless you're responsible, it won't last for long.

Did we 'make it' on our own?  Absolutely not.  As my dad always says, "No one makes it in this world on their own."  Remember how my parents covered my room & board those first two years?  And that job at the counseling center?  My boss hired me & put a lot of faith into me.  And when we moved to Atlanta, the church we were leaving totally rallied around us & many members gave us money & gift cards out of the goodness of their hearts.

And that's not even giving any credit to God, which really... He gets all the credit for anything we're able to accomplish.

So yes, no one makes it on their own, but at the same time, you can't expect things to be handed to you.  Nothing replaces hard work.

What's in a name?

Here's an interesting article.  It's short in itself, but the short of it is that in a UK poll of 3,000 British parents, 1 in 5 regretted the name they chose for their child.


Okay, so surveying 3,000 people isn't the most official poll.  And it was done in the UK.  Who knows what they're naming their kids over there?  But it's still interesting.


I say that because weird names are another one of my pet peeves.  If a name is hard to pronounce correctly, or easily misspelled, then it can be tough on a kid (and when they're an adult, too).


Have I mentioned that I love thinking about names?


My name is easy.  Susan.  It's right up there with Mary or Jennifer.  Not hard to spell.


And I hated my name until I got to college.  "That's my mom's name!"  I hated hearing that.  "I have an Aunt Susan!"  That too.


But now I'm so thankful for my name.  It could have been much, much worse.  At least mine is easy to spell and hard to mispronounce.


Unique names are really cool, but when it's hard to pronounce or spell them correctly, that's got to be annoying.

Your thoughts?

Horrible Names for your Children

Josh and I love to think about baby names (ok, well, I do, anyways!), even though we don't plan on having them for several more years. We also get a little silly most of the time, and this is what we usually end up with: a list of horrible names that no one should ever name their children. Most of them are screwed up phonetics and lots of silent letters. This was originally birthed out of the random way people spell kids' names these days, especially in western NC. It get's a little ridiculous! My mom knows a kid with an apostrophe in his name! Anywho, enjoy!

(in parenthesis is how it would be pronounced)

11) Phrainck (Frank)
10) Jackoabeh (Jacob)
9) Maurthaheh (Martha)
8) any State name in the US, or the world for that matter (with the exception of Dakota and Virginia)
7) Mattelion (Madeline)
6) Marjey (Margie)
5) Mursaihdeezh (Mercedes)
4) Fillap (Phillip)
3) 8rian or Eighdrian (Adrian)
2) Bowelfore (Balfour)

and last, but certainly not least:

1) Tioneekwah (Shanekwah-- okay, I don't know how to spell that the 'normal' way!)


And if you didn't understand any of that, then you just don't know Josh and I well enough. :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!