Memory Box

One thing that I wanted to make sure of was to keep special memories from Hazelnut's childhood.  Not every memory, but certain ones that stick out.  I also know my limits, and that creating scrapbook pages by hand every month is just not going to happen. So once a year I make a family photo book (more about that on a future date) in a coffee table style book.  I also keep another photo album with 4x6 prints.  Why?  Because when she's in kindergarten & needs to bring a picture of her as a baby, I don't want to be pulling out external hard drives looking for the pictures, then running to Wal-Mart at midnight to pick up the prints.

I digress.

But some things just can't be stored in a flat album or fit into a 4x6 sleeve.  For those, I have this box.

 

Someone gave it to us for a baby shower gift, and it's been very useful!

I've majorly slacked off on things to put in there after her first birthday.  So many big things happen in that first year-- hospital bracelets, birth announcements, first visit to Santa, birthday cards, cake smash session... the list goes on & on!  I also saved handwritten notes, and the little foam letters you see on the left- H F.  Those were in a gift bag from a breastfeeding group I went to.  They're not really useful, except that they are a vivid reminder of what life was like during those first 10 months of working so hard to nurse.  Looking at those letters brings it all back like a tidal wave.

But one problem--- nothing else fits!  Luckily, one of her birthday gifts this year gave in this cute box.  It's very sturdy & perfect for the job!  

How do you keep track of memories?  Do you put too much pressure on yourself for not doing it enough?  I seriously love the memory box because it's so low pressure.  Just toss the memory in & you're done!

I also have one full of love notes & cards from when Josh & I were dating.  We should have kept it up through marriage but life got a bit busy.  I love looking back on those notes!

Love who you are.

Comparison is the thief of joy. -Theodore Roosevelt

There are a lot of contradicting messages out there to soak in.  Pinterest is full of amazing decorations, parties, lunches, etc.  There are countless blog posts from moms practically bragging that they don't have it all together... that their house is messy & their kids ate Doritos for dinner.  And don't even get me started on parenting tirades covering everything from infant sleep to breastfeeding to discipline.

Here's the thing.  I'm definitely not an 'everyone gets a trophy' type of person, but sometimes, that's just the way it is. This world needs all types, so please, find your type & go with it!

Love who you are.

And instead of cutting someone else down or making it seem uncool... appreciate it.  Appreciate them.  Celebrate whatever it is.

If you are great at decorating, awesome.  Please always take pictures & post them on Pinterest!  Yes, be a show off.  Be proud of yourself.  And the rest of us need to cheer you on.

Is you house constantly messy?  Are you okay with it?  If so, then embrace it.  Don't skip over posting a cute picture of your kid because the background is messy.  Your kid is cute, so celebrate it.  And the rest of us need to celebrate it, too.

Is your kid not sleeping?  Sure-- search the interwebs for some ideas!  But also, remember that every kid is different.  I found a method that worked absolutely wonderful for my kid and yes, I would highly suggest you use it for yours.  But you may choose another route & that's okay.  It's the beauty of having your own kid-- you get to craft him/her into a tiny human that you like.

I could go on & on.  Every mom could.  It's a constant barrage of messages we're met with each day. 

So I'm working to do my part & I hope you do, too!  What's your part, you ask?

Each time I feel myself thinking too much about something, I think of a way to celebrate it. 

Does someone's Facebook post bother you?  Find a way to celebrate.  See a friend who just had a baby & looks amazing?  (WAY more amazing than you ever did after having a baby?)  Celebrate it.  Share in her joy.  Really truly celebrate.

Comparison is the thief of joy because there is no comparison.  We're just not all the same.  You can't compare yourself to an 18 year old version of you, or a 34 year old version of anyone else.

Love who you are.

Celebrate others.

You ARE Supermom.

I see a lot of blog posts these days encouraging moms.  You don't have to be super mom!  You're doing a great job!  I know you're tired-- your work does not go unnoticed!

But what happens when you don't have any other choice?

Sure, there are plenty of moms who go over & beyond to make special teacher gifts & the perfect birthday invitation or Halloween costume.  But what about the mom who doesn't have time for any of that because she's simply trying to survive?  Trying to put food on the table & make sure her 4 year old isn't home alone while she's at work?

You ARE Supermom.

As a mom, I have it pretty easy.  I have a great kid who is pretty easy going, a caring husband who actively parents, cleans the house, etc, and plenty of helpful babysitters.  We even have someone to do some housework a few times a month. I also own a business, do marketing for another business, and volunteer at church.

I am BUSY, y'all.  I am tired.  Worn out.  If I quit anything I will be letting tons of people down.

But seriously... there are a zillion moms who have it way harder than me.  Every single time I pass our daughter off to my husband because I can't get her to stop crying, screaming, or if she just needs that stern daddy discipline that he's so good at, I think to myself, Single moms don't have this luxury.  They don't get this little reprieve.  What would I do if he simply wasn't here?

Or better yet, how would I pay the bills if he wasn't here?  Not only would I have this screaming kid, but I'd also be worried about how to pay the rent, buy groceries, school supplies, etc.

I wish I had the answer to fix it all.  A little twitch of the nose to take away those troubles.

I can't do that, but I can promise you... you ARE Supermom!

Sometimes surviving is all we can do.  Maybe your kid is wearing hand-me downs & worn out shoes, eating spaghetti most nights and spending every afternoon with his grandparents so you can work.  Keep it up, Supermom.  You are doing whatever it takes to provide.  To survive.  And that is valuable.  Your child is seeing your hard work & learning from you.

Smile.  You are Supermom, and you are already doing it all.

Oh Pinterest!

We have a good sized apartment, but the kitchen is tiny.  Teeny tiny.  Like, we're in a 3 bedroom & it's about half the size of the kitchen we had in a one bedroom.  And what our friends think is a pantry next to our kitchen is actually a laundry area.  Most of our kitchen appliances are in our hall closet, and some of the food items are stored above our washing machine!

I. hate. that.  How gross?  I keep it to items that are well packaged, but still.

So last night I saw a pin on Pinterest & it got me to thinking.  It suggested using an old armoire as a pantry.  And that's when it hit me... we have a china cabinet that we don't even use!  It's just sitting in the dining room, abandoned from when we decided to start painting it 3 years ago (I didn't get very far at all).

And after moving this last time, I refused to unpack the China again until we buy a house.  That leaves a bunch of awkward pictures in our cabinet & my Willow Tree items that have to be kept away from Hazelnut.

Here's the before & after:

Much better, right?  Obviously, with the glass doors, using it as a pantry is out of the question, but our plates, cups & bowls fit perfectly in there!  And now we have an entire 2nd cabinet in our kitchen dedicated to... food!  No more storing food above the washing machine.

And I now have extra storage room in the laundry area!

I think I'm going to clean out the bottom shelves (not pictured above) & make it a kid-friendly area.  Currently I'm storing baby bottles & candles in there.  The bottles have to go, & I'll find another place for the candles.  The knobs on the doors are very widely spaced, so there are a few extra steps to baby-proofing it.  I'd rather just skip that & let her enjoy the area!

Easy Hair Bow Solution

Hair bows all over the house quickly became a problem for us, so I set out to make a solution.  I bought this frame from Goodwill for a few bucks & used some paint I had on hand.  I've seen things like this around & they seemed easy enough... and it was!

Then I attached some cute ribbons & voila-- done!

It was seriously one of the easiest projects I've ever done.  And it's great!  I suggest getting a large frame, as we filled it up almost instantly.  You can also attach hooks to the bottom for hair rubber bands & such to hang off of.

I would suggest using nails to attach the ribbons.  I didn't have any, so I used thumb tacks & they worked fine.  

Dear New Mama: It Gets Better

When Hazelnut was a few weeks old I remember thinking, "Wow, it got better."  Things weren't awesome, but I finally got a bit of a handle on this whole 'raising a baby' thing.  I remember thinking, "I need to tell every new mama this!  I can't believe it actually got better!"

So to the new mamas out there... don't worry... it gets better.

I've made a point to say that to all the new mamas about a week or so after their child is born.  When we chat & I can hear the weariness in her voice... that's when I make sure to say, "It gets better."

The sigh of relief I hear afterwards.  The "oh my goodness... thank the good Lord..." sigh.

It gets better.

And sixteen months in?  It just keeps getting better!  At first, you're just getting to a survival state.  But after that... you soar!  Yeah, it keeps getting tougher, too.  But the good keeps getting better.

You see, you're tired & totally worn out now.  But soon, he'll be rolling over.  And then crawling.  And then that glorious day when he grabs onto your leg and doesn't let go.  Man, that's a great feeling!

Yes, it gets better.  :)

Survival. What I really felt the first 10 months of motherhood.

Sixteen months.  That's how old Hazelnut is now.  Looking back, I can't believe I lived through those first 10 months!  In a lot of ways, it was easy.  We bonded well & she got into a great schedule that worked really well for her.  She's generally a happy kid & is completely adorable.  No major sickness, either, which is huge!

But then on the other hand, it was really tough.  Mommy guilt was (and still is!) awful.  Terrible.  I tried to keep it at bay, but it was really hard.  Guilt that I couldn't get her to nurse.  Guilt that I didn't make enough milk.  Guilt that I couldn't hold her because I was pumping.  Guilt that I was playing online while pumping instead of looking at her.  Guilt that she had formula.  Guilt that I just wasn't sure what formula was best & hadn't done enough research to make a well-informed decision.  Guilt that I watched my favorite TV show instead of playing with her.  Guilt that it felt nice when she went down for a nap.  Guilt that I didn't have a 5 course meal prepared for her after her nap.

You get the idea.

It wasn't rational guilt.  It was all really high-strung emotions.  I was an emotional wreck for 10 months straight.  I remember driving in the car more than once & thinking "I shouldn't be driving right now.  I'm not in a good mental state."

My head was in a fog for 10 months straight.  I'm not really sure what it was.  I wasn't sad or depressed.  I had a great bond with Hazelnut, and I felt very loved & surrounded with support.  Overwhelming amounts of support from friends & family!  And Hazelnut slept through the night, so it wasn't from a lack of sleep.  I was just in a constant fog.  I couldn't think clearly.  I was just going through the motions of life.  Just trying to get through & make it until the next day without totally falling apart.

I also didn't lose any baby weight during this time.  I felt gross & fat all the time.  Constantly on the verge of tears.  I had friends that quickly lost all their weight, breastfed easily, and went on about their lives.  I felt like I'd just left the hospital.

I'd planned to take one month for maternity leave.  After a week I called my boss in tears & asked for an extra month, which she quickly agreed to, thankfully.

At 3 months I remember thinking, "I shouldn't still be in a fog."

At 6 months I started to feel it lift a little.  I started to feel just a little bit like myself again.  Just a glimpse.

At 10 months I finally threw in the towel with nursing.  I'd made it so far, fighting tooth & nail for every single ounce.  I felt far more overwhelmed than I did the night we brought Hazelnut home.  I just couldn't do it anymore.

And then it started to lift.  Little by little, the fog started to clear.  It still took months.  And crazy enough, I'm just now really feeling like myself.  She's sixteen months old!

Honestly, I've never heard of anyone else dealing with this, but I'm sure I'm not the first one.  So mama... if this is you, hang in there.  It does get better.  The fog will lift one day.

I still haven't lost all the weight... I'm 17 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight.  And writing all this down really brought back a flood of emotions.  But I survived.  I'm here.  And the fog is lifting.

Sigh of Relief & Independent Playtime

So last night while I lay awake from midnight - 4am, I did some reading.  When Hazelnut was a baby we followed Baby Wise, mostly, when it came to schedules & such & we loved it!  As with any child-rearing method, we read it, and then applied it with our own child's needs in mind.  Every child is different, and no single book can cover everyone.  But I hadn't read the toddler books in the series.  As Hazelnut is growing & testing limits, throwing fits, etc, we want to make sure that we're responding appropriately to guide her towards learning what is or isn't acceptable and everything that comes along with that.

At any rate, I went to a website of a woman who writes a ton of information on it & read up about Hazel's age group.

Most of the stuff we're actually already doing, which is cool.  I'd been feeling like this age is a transition more than anything, and that's pretty much what she wrote about.  Transitioning from foods prepared just for baby to eating what everyone else eats, starting to spoon feed herself, starting to say words.  She talked about expecting unpredictable behavior, expecting your child to test her limits, beginning to teach acceptable behaviors, picking & choosing your battles, and not freaking out if your child isn't hungry during a meal or doesn't like a certain food.

Honestly, it was a sigh of relief at 3am.  I've been a very worn out momma lately & felt like I wasn't doing a good job.  Sure, my kid is alive, fed, and generally happy, but there's a lot more to life that just getting through it.  We worked very hard when Hazelnut was a baby to figure out a schedule that worked best for her-- one where she would sleep well, eat well, and be happy during her awake time.  I loved knowing that she was getting enough rest & was enjoying her little life.  And as silly as it sounds, I was scared that we were throwing all of that out the window & were starting to raise a little hellion.  I mean, the girl can throw a fit if she wants to.  It's still pretty cute right now, but I know the cuteness factor in her fits is about to go away!  So it was nice to read that I wasn't throwing it all away-- that the things we had been doing because it seemed logical, were the same things that other parents had done & had worked well for them in the future.

The one thing I hadn't been specific about was what is called independent playtime.  It's a period of time each day that the child plays on her own.  For this age (16 months) they suggest setting it up in a baby-proofed room where the child can't see the parent.  I'm not particularly keen on that, but Hazel plays pretty well on her own, so we tried it in the living room while I got some work done in the same room.  They suggest working up to an hour of independent play per day.  With the exception of changing her dirty diaper & reading a book she brought to me, she's been playing for an hour by herself!  I'm sure a lot of it has to do with her being an only child, but it's so fun to watch her out of the corner of my eye.  She's testing her own limits, practicing balance (albeit, by standing on her rocking chair), and figuring out new ways to play with toys.

And?  I don't feel so guilty about getting things done.  I was starting to get into a cycle of guilt because I wasn't playing with her every waking hour.  Truth is, she does need me to play with her.  But she also enjoys playing by herself as well.  Exploring within her own limits.  She has a wonderful natural independence about her & I want to encourage that.  She definitely gets it from her daddy, and I love that about him!

I'm also thinking that this extra time will be great to get into some more parenting books.  One friend who I admire for her parenting skills & well behaved children suggested "Growing Kids Gods Way" so I'm definitely going to check that out, too!

Any other books that you've felt were very helpful starting in the toddler years?

Cloth Diapers: 14 month update

Fourteen months in to this cloth diaper journey... and we're loving it!  Here are a few thoughts:


When to buy cloth:

A lot of moms tell me that they're going to start using cloth as soon as their disposable diapers from their baby shower run out.  Don't wait!!

Keep a small pack of the newborn size to get you through the first little bit while you're figuring things out, but return the rest.  You'll likely get a gift card in return for the diapers, so use that on the multitude of things that you'll need for the new little one.  And the money that you're now saving from using the gift card-- use that to start your cloth diaper stash!

I'll admit it, that's what I did.  I felt just a little guilty from returning all of the disposables, but when you really think about it, why did they get me diapers to begin with?  Because it was a practical gift that they knew I would use.  And boy am I using them!


Microfiber:

Each of our diapers came with two microfiber inserts.  They worked great for awhile!  I used one insert during the day & two at night.  But then she started to leak more often & putting two on her during the day was just really bulky.  I looked at bamboo & hemp for a solution and it all the blogs that did comparisons, hemp always won by a long shot when it came to how much they would hold without leaking.  I figured if I was going to invest more in my diapers, then it was going to be something I didn't regret.  And I don't!

I searched around online for about a month to find a great deal.  A friend gave me a gift certificate for Hazelnut's birthday that I used towards some hemp inserts, and then I found a lady selling a ton online & got them for less than 50% of the original price, which was amazing!  Hemp is pricey, but well worth the money, and still cheaper overall than disposables.

Another bonus about hemp?  They can be put in direct contact with baby bottoms!


Diaper Routine:

At first it's super confusing, I'll admit.  But after about a month, it was second nature.  And now?  Easy peasy.  I could do it in my sleep!  Here's my routine:

Pee diapers go straight into the wet bag (I pull the insert halfway out because hemp inserts don't come out as easy in the wash).
Poop diapers go into the small step trashcan in our private bathroom & I rinse them out as soon as I have a few minutes.  Sometimes I forget & do it right before laundry but I always regret it because they're tougher to rinse out then!  Once they're rinsed out I pull the insert halfway out & put it all in the wetbag.

When I'm running low,  dump the wetbag in the washer:
Cold rinse, extra-large load size (Every now & then I'll throw in about half a cup of white vinegar to keep them from not smelling, but I haven't had to do that since using hemp inserts!)
Hot Wash with 2 tablespoons of Original Tide, Extra-large load size
Cold rinse, extra-large load size
Inserts go in the dryer, wetbags & diapers are laid out to dry.


I'll write more on another day, but those are my thoughts for right now!

Hazelnut through the months.

It seems these days that parents are taking fancy picture of their kid every day for the first year, photoshopping in numbers, a different background each time.  There are a million variations of it.  But when it came down to it for me, I knew that easier meant I was more likely to follow through.  And I did, for the most part.

The days weren't exactly one month after the other-- and I didn't beat myself up over it.  It is what it is!  I do love to see how much she's grown.  Her legs went from skinny to chunky to sturdy.  Her hair gradually grew throughout the year.  At one year, it was starting to fall into her eyes.  I'm glad I took the time to do this!

Hazelnut's 1st Birthday Party!

 

I went through several different ideas for Miss Hazelnuts first birthday party, but when I laid eyes on a Little Miss Sunshine party, I knew that it was the perfect one for her!  She is truly a little sunshine and brings smiles and giggles everywhere she goes!

I sent a friend a picture of a cake I'd seen on Pinterest and she did an amazing job!  It was absolutely perfect!  I literally had the hardest time cutting it, but I'm glad I did because it was delicious!

 

And another friend has a system that prints out these cute designs and then cuts them out and she glued them all together.  She also made the stickers for the cups!

She even made the banners!

 

For favors we decided on sunflower seeds to go with the sunshine theme!

Cake, presents, favors, and we also laid out scrapbooks from her first year.

Hazelnut loved her cupcake!

Centerpieces were also made by the same friend who made the banners & cupcake toppers.  Her machine cut out the pinwheels, she used brads to attach them to straws.  We filled mason jars with lemon heads & stuck the pinwheels inside.  It was the perfect touch!

After the cupcake she nearly crashed.  She was such a good sport the entire party.  This was only halfway through & she ended up staying awake & in a fabulous move the entire time.

Do you see that peeking through?  A friend even found a Little Miss Sunshine gift bag!

When it came to opening presents, lets face it, a one year old doesn't really care that much.  So I thought it would be fun for all the kids that did care to get a chance to have some fun.  They all gathered around and helped us open these gifts.  They all had so much fun!

Once the kids had enjoyed opening presents, they took the tissue paper over the the rug we had brought with us & they had so much fun throwing it up in the air!  The babies very much enjoyed it falling on their heads!

 

Overall it was a great birthday party!

One Year... We've Survived a Year! Part 2

Check out Part 1 here.

------------

And now... birth pictures!  Ahhh... memory lane.  All pictures are from Megan Boyles Photography.

Our doula-- she was with us every step of the way, bless her heart!

I absolutely adore these pictures of Josh & Hazel.  Totally wrapped around her little finger!

One Year... We've Survived a Year!

A year!  Hazelnut has been alive a year!  Because I'm a mom with a blog, I have to take a look back & you are forced to go down memory lane with me.  I'll break it into two or three posts to make it more bearable.  :)

 The video below?  My favorite-- it's her heartbeat at our first ultrasound.  It was our first sign of life-- of the excitement.  It was a wonderful moment!  The little flickering is the beating.

Another fun ultrasound picture-- her skull.  A little crazy looking, but for some reason I find it very endearing.

Me, 8 months pregnant.  This was at a wedding I was photographing-- my last before she came.

And her nursery... I love her little place in the world.

I have to say, the closet is slightly messier, but still mostly looks the same-- that organization system has worked great!  And the cloth diapers?  Still going strong!

Okay, more tomorrow!

Just when you least expect it.

I gave Hazel a long bath tonight.  She splashed & played & had a grand ol' time.  Usually I have everything laid out on my bed for after the bath.  That way I wrap her in a towel, lay her on my bed, and have everything there ready for bedtime.

But not tonight.  I just grabbed a towel and headed for the bath.  Afterwards I was soaking wet and she was happy as a clam.  I scooped her up in the towel & headed for the changing table in her room when I realized I didn't have any nighttime diapers ready.  So I tried to lay her on the changing table while I double-stuffed a diaper but she wasn't having it.  I put everything down & played with her cute little naked self for a moment.  She is so happy naked-- it's quite hilarious.

It was bedtime, though, so I went ahead and put her in the crib, naked, so that I could finish getting everything ready.  I even made sure to put her in there standing up so she wouldn't think it was bedtime and cry.

That's when it happened.

She peed everywhere.

I have to admit, it was kind of cute.  And I knew it would happen.  I mean, if you put a naked baby anywhere other than the tub or the changing table, it is going to pee.

All down the sides of her freshly washed legs, onto her little yellow sheets.  And she was happy as a clam, smiling up at me.  I couldn't help but laugh.

I picked her up, wiped her down, put a diaper on her and snuggled.

And finally, it has paid off to keep two sets of sheets on the bed with a waterproof cover in between! I pulled the top two layers off and had clean sheets ready for bedtime-- instantly!

8 months already?

Oh dear... it's been a month!  In the past month, Hazelnut has become an expert crawler, and about a week later, started pulling herself up to standing!  Now she is an expert at pulling herself up to stand and is in the verge of standing on her own!  Everyone says she'll be walking soon and I'm starting to believe it.  I didn't walk until I was 13 months old, so I didn't have high expectations for her, but I think she's going to beat that by a long shot.

She is in to everything these days!  We keep a gate at the entrance to the kitchen so she stays out of the dog food.  Speaking of the dog... Jigsaw isn't too fond of her playing with him so he avoids her most of the time.

Hazel is also starting to understand what "no" means.  It's pretty awesome because it means that sometimes I don't have to run over to her to get her to stop something-- sometimes she'll stop when I say "no" firmly.  Sometimes.  :)

The biggest thing that has happened this month is that I decided to stop taking the medication to increase my breastmilk supply.  I'd been taking it for 6 months and it was the only thing keeping my supply up.  So around the 8 month mark, I was about to run out of the medication, and instead of ordering more, I decided it was time to move on.  I'm still breastfeeding, but it's not nearly as much as she was getting, and I'm not pumping anymore.

Up until now, I was nursing, bottlefeeding formula & breastmilk, pumping, and feeding Hazel solid foods every day.  For now, pumping has been cut out of that equation, making life much easier!  I'm still bottlefeeding her breastmilk, as a friend graciously gave me some of hers!  It's quite a process to unfreeze it and warm it up, but that's okay-- it's worth it, and anything beats pumping!

Alright, and now for a ton of pictures.  We had a lot of fun last month!

Hazel & her boyfriend Ayden.  He is 10 days younger than her, so we enjoy getting them together to hang out!  They are hilarious together, too!

Hazel stole Ayden's sippy cup and he was not happy about it!

Our little family at Bay Days.

Playing a little dress-up...

And posing at the beach!  She loves sand, and tries to eat it!  I thought she would dislike it when she put it in her mouth, but no... she would love to eat it by the handfuls!