Dear Hair,

Dear Hair,

Remember when we were friends?  It's not been a common thread throughout our lives, but we have been friends a few times.  I'll name them for you:

1) When I was really little.

Huge hairbows, mostly straight locks all the way down to my waist.  We had a bootbox full of huge hairbows to adorn you with.

But then I grew and you did not, and as I got taller, you seemed to get shorter.  It's not that I cut you-- it's that you betrayed me by not growing.

2) When Josh and I were dating.  I do thank you for those times.  He fell in love with you and me and it was really great.

  

I curled you, permanently.  You liked it.  You flounced around all pretty like. 

And then sometimes I would straighten you and you were okay with that, too.  I think it's because we're Gemini's.  But then your curl wore away and you seemed flatter than ever.  I tried to trim you but you refused to cooperate.

3) I knew you needed a little love.  After all, you hadn't grown since we were in middle school.  You're stubborn, but you come by it honest.  So I decided to cut you.  I didn't want to hurt you, but I think you knew that because after the haircut, you felt great, and it showed.

We experimented with a few different styles.  We went for bangs, which you seemed to be okay with.

 And even when I cut you too short, you were still okay with it.

You even let me get away with $14 haircuts from Great Clips.  And for that, I'll be forever thankful.

But hair, oh hair, I want to go back to stage 2 so badly.  Josh wants you too, and I thought you'd do anything for him.  No?  Why do you refuse to grow?  We've been working on this for a year now and you just keep going downhill.  Not literally, though.  That would be great.  You're thin and frail and won't grow.  Not in a pretty way, anyway.

Hair, look at me.  The picture above is from almost a year ago.  I'd love to say, "Oh hair, you've come so far!"

But you haven't.  You haven't come far at all.  May an inch?  Maybe two?

Would it help if I promise to curl you again?  We could do that.  You and me... hours of stinky perm smell, but the payoff would be worth it.

But I think it's too late.  I've given up on you, hair.  Start growing, or I'm going to start chopping.  I'll take you short or long, but there is no in between.  Actually, there is.  There's a lot of in between.  That's our problem.

Sure, you'll spruce up every now and then, but one day a week (if that) is not okay to look good.  I'd like to go back to the 5+ days a week of looking good category with you.  

Sincerely,

Susan

PS: Love Handles, you better watch out.  You're not exactly on my good side.