30 April 2010

Cake Wreck.

Ladies and gents, there is a website that has left me cackling since I first saw it.  May I introduce you to Cake Wrecks: When professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong.  
It's a collection of professional cakes that make you go, "What the???  What were they thinking?!"

Sometimes you don't even know what they were going for (see naked mowhawk babies riding carrots above), and sometimes you can see that someone just wasn't using their noggin.

Then I saw this. Go look at it real quick.  You don't have to read it all- just look at the pictures and get the general concept.

That's when I realized.  I've been a victim of a cake wreck.

I think I'd actually blocked it from my memory.

You see, we had a budget wedding, and I looked for every way possible to cut corners.  I found some great deals, too!

Wedding dress: $300
Veil: $10
Food was made by family & photography was done by a creative friend who I knew would do a great job.

But the one area I should not have skimped on was the cake.  I say that if I could do it again with the knowledge I have now, I wouldn't have a cake at all.

Now, I won't name the bakery in question, unless you're a bride whose wedding depends on it.  But what they did was bad.

I never confronted them about it because I was embarrassed.  I thought, "Hey- they're the professionals-- guess I should have been more hands on and proactive about what I wanted it like.  Maybe I should have gone for something more simple."

But thanks to Cake Wrecks, I now know that it wasn't me.  My detailed explanation should have been enough.  My pictures and color swatches- the bakery should have been able to follow them and make my cake.

Here were some of the inspirational pictures I'd found:

See the pretty polka dot ribbon? And how simple the cake is?  I wanted this, but with an orange ribbon, and a slightly more muted pink color.  And I even told them not to worry about the flowers- we'd put those on ourselves.

Similar to this, minus the dots and the 21, of course (I wasn't even that old yet).

I told them I just wanted the pink cake and ribbon.  No flowers, no decorations whatsoever.  And above all, nothing frilly!  None of those swirly things around the edges.  Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Plain.

The cake was going to be pink for goodness sakes-- it didn't need anything else.

And I did know that they mainly dealt with butter cream frosting and that it wouldn't be as smooth as fondant. 

When my mom picked up the cake, our phone conversation went like this:

"Did you want a pink cake?!"
"Yeah! I told you that!  I know it's a bit bold, but it'll be fun!"
"Well, it's really pink.  Really pink.  Bright pink"
"Well it's has to be a brighter pink, mom.  I don't want a pastel pink cake!"
"Okay.  Do you want to come see it?"  (This is her way of saying, "This is really bad- you have to see it to believe it!")
"I'm way too busy.  I don't know how I'll ever get to the rehearsal dinner on time!  It'll be fine."
"Okay, but if you can fit it in, you really need to come by and see it before the wedding."

Fast forward to the wedding day.  Beautiful wedding, pictures went well.  I arrive at the reception and see this:

My heart stopped.  There were a lot of things that didn't go as planned at our wedding, but who cares?  Life goes on, right?  This made life stop for just a second. 5 minutes. forever. a while.

Sure, the DJ had no idea what song I wanted for our first dance.  I was sure he'd find something good.
Sure, I'd forgotten the photo mat that I wanted all the guests to write on.  A guest book will do.
Sure, our chocolate fountains were spewing chocolate everywhere the wind blew. It happens.

I couldn't make that up.
But it didn't bother me.
I actually thought it was kinda funny.  I should have considered the wind a little more before we got them.

No, what bothered me was that frilly-neon-glow-in-the-dark-pink cake.

It stained my face.  Neon.  Do you see that piece glowing?

And let's talk about the doily underneath.
"Nothing frilly whatsoever."  I believe those were my exact words.
(I'm having flashbacks to being at the bakery.  I can literally see the lady writing down "no frills.")
I even pointed to the pre-made cakes so she knew what I was talking about. 

Thank you for sharing in this journey with me.  It's been four years, but I was finally ready to talk about it, thanks to Cake Wrecks.  I now know that it's not always the fault of the person who is ordering.  Sometimes it's just a baker/decorator who doesn't 'get' it.

Come to think of it, this really explains my obsession with Cake Boss.

*Thanks to Celeste & Alan for taking our wedding pics!

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