Have you ever felt like God is working in you? Like... He's got something He needs you to do, but you're not ready for it yet. So He brings people into your life, puts you in certain situations... just general gearing you up for something.
That's what going on for me right now.
It's a really long, intricate story, but in one word, it's compassion.
Over the past year God's taught me a huge lesson in compassion, brought new friends into my life who show ginormous amounts of compassion, and has been speaking to Josh about the same thing.
This past week was when we realized it. Several conversations we've had lead us to realize that God's been working on both of us in the exact same area.
I have no idea what we're getting ready for, but I'm a little scared. Not super scared, because let's face it, every time we follow God life only gets better. Mostly, I'm scared because every time God speaks to us like this we end up moving to a different state, and I really don't want to move again-- I love it here!
During church this last week I was sitting in the back row struggling with these thoughts. Wondering what God is gearing us up for, and how much it's going to cost. We recently had to make a big choice as to whether to trust God or try to do our own thing-- and trusting God involved a huge financial setback. My amazing husband guided us in the right direction and we trusted God. Why did I ever waiver in that? Why? Immediately all the struggles that we'd dealt with melted away and God has replaced 50% of those finances within the past month.
Which leads me to the biggest thing.
We've been wanting to buy a house for the past 6 years. No joke. 6 years ago we had a realtor & looked high & low for the perfect house. We even put an offer in on one or two but something always happened (thank goodness!) that it didn't work out. Turns out, it was a great thing because soon afterwards we moved to a new state. Rented an apartment & oogled over all the gorgeous, fairly cheap houses. Repeat the move to another state, new apartment, oogle at even cheaper, just as gorgeous houses. Repeat the move to another state... you get the picture? We are still living in an apartment.
Truth is, we like living in an apartment. I get scared living in a house-- with an apartment there are always people nearby. We don't like doing maintenance or mowing the lawn-- hate flowerbeds and landscaping! And apartments are usually right off the main road-- saves gas going to work!
But we hate just throwing that money away every month. We dream of buying a house, working hard to pay it off early, and not having a house payment at all!
But in the back row on Sunday, God reminded me of something. So what if we're throwing that money away. So what. He's going to provide for us anyway. And if He is the one footing the bill, then why does it matter to us?
So just like that, I'm no longer thinking about buying a house. I'm no longer looking up real estate listings just to see what's out there & what the market is like. Do I want a house? Oh yeah. But if God wants us to have a house, then we'll have one & He will show us when it's time.
Kind of freeing, actually.
If you're the praying type, I'd love if you'd keep us in your prayers! Pray for us to have compassion & for God to show us clearly what it is He wants us to do. And since I'm still human & a bit selfish, can you also pray that it doesn't involve moving? ;)