A week ago we welcomed our little girl into the world. Words can't describe how awesome this week has been. All the cliches are true-- I can't imagine loving anything more. Josh & I were trying to describe it to each other the other day. It's a lot like the love we have for each other. It doesn't matter what the other person does... we still love them with everything we've got.
Looking at her grow over this past week it makes me really sad. I don't want her to grow up-- I want her to stay a newborn forever! But grow up is what she must do, so we are soaking up every single second with her.
Labor was long... started around 1:30pm on Friday, January 20th, and our little Hazelnut was born at 9:41pm on Saturday, January 21st. 32 hours and I felt every single contraction. The pain... well, it's really indescribable. And unlike what a lot of people say, I haven't forgotten it. But she was definitely worth it.
I have, of course, turned into an emotional mess. Anything and everything makes me tear up lately. She's just so tiny & innocent that I don't want anything in this world to mess with her. She is perfect. Completely perfect. Not to mention absolutely adorable!
I may write more about the birth later, I may not. We had a photographer there, which was out of this world amazing. She captured moments that we will never be able to re-take. First moments of life... and it is so amazing!
Also, we had a doula there. I truly don't even want to think about what our labor & birth experience would have been like without her there. She was amazing to help & show us what was normal & what was not. I am totally unfamiliar with hospital situations & birth... but it's everyday for her. She was a huge source of support & took a lot of pressure off of Josh. He doesn't know how to be a labor coach, but he does know how to be my husband. So our doula allowed him to be just that-- my husband. He didn't have to make sure I was comfy or any of the other things that come up in labor. He was just able to be there to support me in whatever way he could.
Finally, our doctor. It was a long, hard road with our doctor, but in the end I couldn't have imagined a better outcome. He was amazing. He showed that he cared. So much, in fact, that we may very well go to him for our next child. I know that sounds crazy considering the things that went on (most weren't written about on this blog, though). But Josh & I, as well as our doula agree... he truly cares & worked hard to learn a different way of looking at things-- a way that would be beneficial to us and our baby. And for that, I am incredibly thankful. I am doubly thankful because his name is all over documentation, and when I look at that, I smile instead of cringe. I smile because it reminds me that we worked really hard to have the birth experience we wanted. To have the medical care we desired... and we got it. In a way, we paved the way for others to be able to get the birth experience they want as well.
I look back on these pictures and I can't believe I've had her in my arms for almost a week now. I can't believe that a week ago I was in the most unbearable pain of my life. They kept reminding me that at the end of it I was going to get a baby, but if I'm going to be very honest, I really didn't care at that point. I didn't truly understand what wonderful things awaited me.
She is perfect. She is wonderful. She has the cutest little chubby cheeks and button nose. She is a mixture of both her mom & dad. And she sleeps like... well, she sleeps like us! She sleeps like a champ and doesn't wake up for much.
Things I want to remember:
You weighed 7 lbs 3 oz at birth, and 7 lbs even when we left the hospital. 20 inches long, and born at 9:41pm. You sleep with your mouth open just like your daddy, and your chubby cheeks are definitely from me. I love the steel gray of your eyes right now. I know they'll change, but I really enjoy the mystery that is within them. I love it when you look at me, when you snuggle with your daddy, and when you make the most adorable little faces. I was scared before... scared that you may take away from the amazing marriage that me & your daddy have worked so hard for. But I've learned that you have only added to the awesomeness. You are absolutely amazing & wonderful and I am so thankful that God trusted us to be your parents!