tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7626960923792629759.post2799843977407244275..comments2024-02-26T05:14:46.550-05:00Comments on Occasional Genius: You can win the argument, or you can win the relationship.fowlerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13883995051006856104noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7626960923792629759.post-71476271976581655862011-02-05T15:06:45.713-05:002011-02-05T15:06:45.713-05:00I totally agree when it comes to most things, but ...I totally agree when it comes to most things, but for some reason or another it's a big deal when it comes to being gay. I mean, when you say "it's important for both sides to understand the challenge that the other one faces" I can't possibly understand the challenge a STRAIGHT PERSON would face when a friend of theirs comes out to them. It's straight privilege. I've never felt a challenge in my life (or that my life changed at all, actually) when a friend has come out to me. Maybe it's because I think there's nothing wrong with being gay and don't think my friends are going to hell because they are attracted to... people. I guess the only challenge I could think of is whether or not you want to be their friend anymore (which is what you seem to be getting at with the winning at the relationship), but why would people even think about not being someone's friend over that? I just don't understand turning someone out of your life over something that DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.<br /><br />I am not trying to be rude or offend anyone, but I just don't understand the straight challenge of having someone come out to you. Maybe I just see the big picture and the importance of putting yourself aside for your friend? <br /><br />But I definitely agree with winning at the relationship. That is important and probably easier when it comes to disagreeing on politics and religion. I'm just trying to say that straight people have straight privilege and we need to shut up about ourselves when we have privilege in a situation and help someone who doesn't.AnniePressleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14208592613192250793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7626960923792629759.post-4027932230729362412011-02-05T14:52:21.543-05:002011-02-05T14:52:21.543-05:00It can go both ways- whenever two people disagree ...It can go both ways- whenever two people disagree about anything (which is pretty much in every relationship), these types of feelings can come up. Just as one person feels strongly in one direction, the other can experience the same feelings, but in the opposite direction. That's why I feel it's important for both sides to understand the challenge that the other one faces, and put the relationship first.<br /><br />I guess what I'm trying to say is that each 'side' can choose to win the argument or win the relationship. It's not just a one-sided choice.fowlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13883995051006856104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7626960923792629759.post-68250284969420400112011-02-05T13:02:12.399-05:002011-02-05T13:02:12.399-05:00I know I don't know the full story and this is...I know I don't know the full story and this is my acknowledgment to that. I've just seen so many people turn someone else's coming out process into THEIR "problem."AnniePressleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14208592613192250793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7626960923792629759.post-50300291987565862652011-02-05T12:53:52.503-05:002011-02-05T12:53:52.503-05:00I'm in group number 3 and my answer would have...I'm in group number 3 and my answer would have been something along the lines of "you handle the relationship the same way you did before they came out to you (which is incredibly hard if they know where you stand and you should respect that and maybe not think about yourself in this situation, you selfish ass)/as if it were any other relationship or friendship."<br /><br />I guess I just don't get it...AnniePressleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14208592613192250793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7626960923792629759.post-5342803677488687222011-02-02T07:30:34.700-05:002011-02-02T07:30:34.700-05:00This is one of the things that I talk about in per...This is one of the things that I talk about in permarital counseling. Often we act like we are playing one on one in an argument. When we win we've really lost because we've defeated someone we love. Instead we should be on the same team and figure out a solution to the problem.Robhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10149710484261633652noreply@blogger.com